The argument makes several bold claims linking an increased death rate among those whom are unemployed. It further characterizes unemployment as if it were a disease, comparing it to heart disease and cancer. The author further makes some contradictions which spreads through the passage like it is a disease.
The author attempts to provide references to statistics, however, there is no basis on what these statistics are. What population was included in the sample pool? What was the average age? Were the count for the higher death rate based on people that were already terminally sick? There are many factors to take into considerations for this justification. Furthermore, the author does not state the death rate of those who are employed. The definition of "higher" is not provided as well, it may be possible that higher could be 500 more deaths in a population of 10 million people for example, which does not significantly define a statistic per say. Therefore, it makes the statement refutable and inconsistent.
The author states that additional funding is required for medical research and public health care however if doing so it would lead to an increase in unemployment. This is a severe contradiction as more medical research and public health care not only improves the health facilities available but also increase the number of jobs available. This inevitably leads to an decrease in unemployment rather than an increase. Better public health care and improved access to those that are unemployed would lead to a lower death rate when those who are not able to afford the necessary treatment are still able to receive the treatment though public schemes and government aid.
For many, employment itself could lead to a variety of problems including stress, hypertension and anxiety. Increased conflicts on the job, occupational hazards increase the number of problems. Furthermore, the industry-induced competition and the need to excel could also take a toll on many who are "burnt out". All of these examples could lead to an increase in health related issues and therefore an increase in the death rate.
In conclusion, the death rate may be higher in those who are unemployed. However, more support should be given to those who are such as courses to improve their skills and train for new employment. Healthy citizens should be considered a priority first before a healthy economy as without its people, how would a country, government or economy thrive.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 405 350
No. of Characters: 2033 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.02 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.809 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.409 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.084 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.277 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 654, Rule ID: PER_SE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'per se' (=by itself, by themselves)?
Suggestion: per se
...es not significantly define a statistic per say. Therefore, it makes the statement refu...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 725, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e statement refutable and inconsistent. The author states that additional fundin...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 367, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...obs available. This inevitably leads to an decrease in unemployment rather than an...
^^
Line 7, column 294, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...to excel could also take a toll on many who are 'burnt out'. All of these exa...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, still, therefore, well, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2110.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 405.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20987654321 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98276714861 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518518518519 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 662.4 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.9739722462 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.9090909091 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4090909091 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.09090909091 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.216401086034 0.218282227539 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0590901006567 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0561254927036 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113107732555 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.029325226556 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.