SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's original headquarters. Moreover, Middlesburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
The argument presented failed to support that SuperCorp made the best decision in moving its headquarters from Middlesburg to Corporateville. There are several holes in the argument, and we will examine the main three.
First, Corporatevill could experience a surge in its number of homeowners and still be an inferior place to live than Middlesburg. Logically, we would expect the opposite: a sudden surge in a city's population should temporarily reduce its quality of life, as it would take some time to build and adjust its infrastructure to serve the higher number of homeowners. To categorically conclude Corporatevile has superior living standards than Middlesburg, more data should be explored, such as crime, education, healthcare, pollution, traffic, etc.
Second, the employee survey suggesting that workers prefer to live in non-urban areas doesn't support Corporateville as a better place just because Middlesburg is a predominantly urban area. What if Corporateville is too? Even if that's not the case, if Corporateville is in a non-urban area, not even then the survey helps build the case, as SuperCorp workers might already live in non-urban areas, and commute to work. For this point to be valid, the argument should have stated that Corporateville is not in an urban area, and the survey should have asked whether employees care about commuting to work or not.
Finally, the argument states that Corporateville has lower taxes and is therefore not only safer but cheaper than Middlesburg. Why lower taxes lead to a safer place to live? Again, logically we would expect the opposite: higher taxes would revert in better services provided to the citizen by the government, which would lead to better police department and lower crime rates. And most important, a city might have lower taxes and still be more expensive to live, if the price of their products and services are higher. To prove this point, the argument should include data about crime and cost of living, comparing both cities.
It's not clear whether SuperCorp made the best decision moving its heardquarters from Middlesburg to Corporateville. On top of including more data comparing both cities, as described previously, to strengthen the argument the company should have also looked into operational costs differences between them.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1902 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.154 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.926 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.182 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.602 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 87, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...rkers prefer to live in non-urban areas doesnt support Corporateville as a better plac...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
... What if Corporateville is too? Even if thats not the case, if Corporateville is in a...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, look, second, so, still, then, therefore, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1959.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 368.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32336956522 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00641126326 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527173913043 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 618.3 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.7097530743 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.4375 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245831843098 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0879388080962 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0734328404919 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132340456409 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0381644056033 0.0628817314937 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.