The Passage introduces two researches conducted on whether children are more influenced by their parents or by the rest of the community.It is assumed that the result of the first research may be wrong and the result of the second one is correct,thus concluding that the method used in the second research should be implemented in the future studies as well .However, there are some major fallacies in his demonstration since there are not sufficient evidence in the research to lead us to such a conclusion.
To begin with ,the observation-method is used in the first research by Dr Field.His research reveals that children are more influenced by an entire village. The passage does not mention what exactly did he observed in this research and how many children did he observed to lead to his conclusion.So we are unable to evaluate whether observation method is not reliable. More details of the observation process should be provided to prove that his observation method is too narrow, so that we can believe observation method is not considered a good method.
Moreover, the interview-focused method doesn’t seem to be any better than the first method. Dr Karp interviewed with children from several islands and claims their behaviors are more reared by their parents. Without further indicating how many children from each island did he interviewed with , the age period of the candidates he interviewed, as well as the family background of the children in the survey, we cannot hastily conclude that Dr Karp’s result is more accurate .There are possibilities that he interviewed only 1 child from each island, and most children tend to spend more time with their parents, probably due to their restricted family culture.And the majority on the island enjoys a well-collaborated educational background,thus the children would on the contrary be more influenced by their community.So the accuracy of Dr. Karp’s research remains a doubt as well.
Finally, even if we assume Dr. Karp’s method is more likely to lead us to a more accurate conclusion, there is no enough support to say interview-centred method could assure information accuracy in future studies .Except for interview and observation method, there exist many other method for study,why future research could not adopt a third method rather than interview and observation remains to be answered .
In summary,the passage intends to prove that interview-centered method is prior to observation method ,so that future study can rely on it to provide us more accurate data. Whereas the author fails to substantiate why we can obtain more accurate information through interview,and there is no other better practice to gain correct data,thus we cannot roughly draw such a conclusion that future research should utilize interview-centered method.
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
the arguments are not right on the point. Here go the sample arguments:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-21-outline
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2315 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.011 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.944 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.64 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.425 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.656 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.263 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
which of my argument is not
which of my argument is not to the point ?
i mentioned 3 aspects where the author doesn't clearly testify.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 138, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...parents or by the rest of the community.It is assumed that the result of the first...
^^
Line 1, column 246, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , thus
... the result of the second one is correct,thus concluding that the method used in the ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 358, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...mplemented in the future studies as well .However, there are some major fallacies ...
^^
Line 1, column 360, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...lemented in the future studies as well .However, there are some major fallacies in his ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s to such a conclusion. To begin with ,the observation-method is used in the fi...
^^
Line 3, column 81, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: His
... used in the first research by Dr Field.His research reveals that children are more...
^^^
Line 3, column 297, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...d he observed to lead to his conclusion.So we are unable to evaluate whether obser...
^^
Line 5, column 299, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...from each island did he interviewed with , the age period of the candidates he int...
^^
Line 5, column 485, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...t Dr Karp's result is more accurate .There are possibilities that he intervie...
^^
Line 5, column 487, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...Dr Karp's result is more accurate .There are possibilities that he interviewed o...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 672, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: And
... due to their restricted family culture.And the majority on the island enjoys a wel...
^^^
Line 5, column 752, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , thus
...well-collaborated educational background,thus the children would on the contrary be m...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 831, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...y be more influenced by their community.So the accuracy of Dr. Karp's researc...
^^
Line 7, column 218, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e information accuracy in future studies .Except for interview and observation met...
^^
Line 7, column 220, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Except
...information accuracy in future studies .Except for interview and observation method, t...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 304, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , why
... there exist many other method for study,why future research could not adopt a third...
^^^^
Line 7, column 416, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...w and observation remains to be answered . In summary,the passage intends to pr...
^^
Line 9, column 11, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...n remains to be answered . In summary,the passage intends to prove that interview...
^^^^
Line 9, column 102, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ed method is prior to observation method ,so that future study can rely on it to p...
^^
Line 9, column 276, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , and
...e accurate information through interview,and there is no other better practice to ga...
^^^^
Line 9, column 335, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , thus
...her better practice to gain correct data,thus we cannot roughly draw such a conclusio...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, third, thus, well, whereas, except for, in summary, as well as, on the contrary, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2392.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 449.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32739420935 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.21636643637 2.78398813304 116% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469933184855 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 744.3 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 44.0 22.8473053892 193% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 183.510898859 57.8364921388 317% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 239.2 119.503703932 200% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 44.9 23.324526521 193% => OK
Discourse Markers: 15.0 5.70786347227 263% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 21.0 5.25449101796 400% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183979710048 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0934809730482 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.054628967654 0.0701772020484 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105833893925 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0646631008665 0.0628817314937 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 26.1 14.3799401198 182% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 18.36 48.3550499002 38% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 21.6 12.197005988 177% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.52 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.51 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.0 12.3882235529 226% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 19.6 11.1389221557 176% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.