The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries claims that there will be an increase in profits after installing a detecting software to preclude employees from wasting time. Although this argument seems reasonable at a glance, the assertion is based on assumptions that are gratuitous.
First supposition the vice president has is that every internet use of an employee is irrelevant to work. However, it is likely to be an errorneous assumption since a lot of work-related activities can be conducted via internet such as sending and receiving emails, social network marketing, and researching in the web. Therefore, restricting employees from engaging in every internet use will rather facilitate decrease of profits of the company. The vice president will have to come up with better plans to distinguish internet use that are work-related and work-unrelated.
Second, the vice president conjectures that the company employees will only have access to company computers. In reality, nevertheless, it could be the vice versa. Even though it turns out that most workers use internet for entertainment, or personal purpose, installing detecting software can only do so much about it because employees will be able to waste their time with other gadgets. Personal computers, laptops, cell phones, and tablets are some of the examples. So many distracting factors besidses company computers can impinge on employees' workabilities. The author has to rule out these possibilities to bolster the contention.
Third supposition the author relies his or her assertion is that prevention of wasting time, specifically through internet, will yield improbement of company profits. Even if employees' waste of time is prevented, the amount of work they do might be similar. It is entirely possible that a lot of employees do overtime work due to wasting of time, which could imply there is no difference in the amount of actual work done, thus resulting in stasis of profits. Also, although employees actually finish more works by reducing downtime, this does not guarantee increase in profits. Other features like proper stategies to tackle different market conditions, technological advancement of the company, creating imposing items to attract customers, and interpersonal skills of employees could be more conducive to improving company profits. Thereby, the vice president nees to provide evidence that shows prevention of wasting time is an outweighing factor that will engender successful outcome in advancing the company profits.
All in all, because of aforementioned reasons, the vice president's claim depends heavily upon incomplete assumptions, which makes the recommendation ill-advised. To strengthen the suggestion, the author is required to give more detailed evidence regarding relationships between internet use and company profits.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: However, it is likely to be an errorneous assumption since a lot of work-related activities can be conducted via internet such as sending and receiving emails, social network marketing, and researching in the web.
Error: errorneous Suggestion: erroneous
Sentence: So many distracting factors besidses company computers can impinge on employees' workabilities.
Error: workabilities Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: besidses Suggestion: besides
Sentence: Third supposition the author relies his or her assertion is that prevention of wasting time, specifically through internet, will yield improbement of company profits.
Error: improbement Suggestion: improvement
Sentence: Other features like proper stategies to tackle different market conditions, technological advancement of the company, creating imposing items to attract customers, and interpersonal skills of employees could be more conducive to improving company profits.
Error: stategies Suggestion: strategies
Sentence: Thereby, the vice president nees to provide evidence that shows prevention of wasting time is an outweighing factor that will engender successful outcome in advancing the company profits.
Error: nees Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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the arguments are from here:
we can prevent employees from wasting time, //argument 2
foster a better work ethic at Climpson, //you don't have
and improve our overall profits //argument 3
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2371 1500
No. of Different Words: 235 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.476 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.013 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 164 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 119 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.493 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 449, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
..., laptops, cell phones, and tablets are some of the examples. So many distracting factors b...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, however, if, nevertheless, regarding, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, as to, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2438.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 433.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.63048498845 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10076099211 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.547344110855 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 759.6 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5008944881 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.9 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.65 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85 5.70786347227 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.199470298333 0.218282227539 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0676981417185 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0554071686612 0.0701772020484 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123496149975 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.036115474144 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.3550499002 69% => It means the essay is relatively harder to read.
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.37 12.5979740519 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.53 8.32208582834 115% => OK
difficult_words: 133.0 98.500998004 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.