The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this argument, the author claims that Climpson Industries should implement electronic monitoring of employees’ Internet use form their workstations to improve their productivity. However, this argument depends on several unsubstantiated assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First of all, it is not clear of a data that how much or many unproductive loss have been effected to Climpson Industries. In order to corroborate this claims, the author ought to point out exact measurement of the losing cost of Climpson. This is because employees can use their Internet while day have spare time during company such as lunch time and so on. Therefore, unless the author offers sufficient evidence, this assumption is logically flawed.
Similarly, the argument maintains that installing software improve their overall profits. Yet, the author offers no evidence to verify this assumptions. To satisfy the claims, he or she need to calculate overall cost of their installation fees. This is because applying all the employees’ workstation can cost a lot and also they need to think about the future maintenance fees when the software need to be update. The overall cost of installation fees can be surpass their budgets. Therefore, the author have to make assumptions with careful consideration.
In addition, the situation may be different with the types of Climpson Industries are focusing on. In other words, they should define the types of industry of Climpson Industries. This is because when Climpson Industries are generating their profits with sales with other customers, installing software to prevent of using internet might be hinder their works. To be specific, employees need to use internet to get a new ideas and to communicate with potential customers. Therefore, just circumscribing of using Internet is not convincing.
To sum, the author’s assumption that implementing electronic monitoring software is logically flawed based on the above mention reasons. To strengthen his or her argument, the author should closely ruminate all the conditions and possible factors. In conclusion, the authors’ argument reflects unsupported claims without clear reasons or evidences.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 337 350
No. of Characters: 1819 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.285 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.398 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.946 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.885 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 128, Rule ID: FROM_FORM[4]
Message: Did you mean 'from'?
Suggestion: from
...c monitoring of employees’ Internet use form their workstations to improve their pro...
^^^^
Line 5, column 136, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...the author offers no evidence to verify this assumptions. To satisfy the claims, he ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, similarly, so, then, therefore, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1886.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 337.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.59643916914 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.08034166703 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.522255192878 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 568.8 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.9926778055 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.3 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.85 23.324526521 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.75 5.70786347227 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194749542394 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0623208176404 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0764618857311 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123601469202 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0729286646603 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.9 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.