The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
According to the recommendation of company's president, there should be a electronic monitoring system to keep a track on employees internet usage, which completely is a vague statement. The author hasn’t provided any kind of supporting statement to its clams. Like a survey or briefing should have been conducted with the board members of the company, so there would have been some sort of options or opinion to tackle the situation in the company.
Even the author has not specified exactly how many hours an employee have been spending on some sort of shopping sites or playing games. It could be as slight as 5 minutes or several hours, which could affect the efficacy of the work drastically. Installing some sort of trackers could be a violation of privacy, which co be a big issue, it might track some highly sensitive and private information on employee’s system.
The installation of such highly technical software can cost a huge amount time of research and development, which may lead in hiring technical team to make such software or paying a third party to do so, which may cost a lot. Even the company will need highly sophisticated servers to store such enormous amount of data, as it will collected from each and every employees' workstation, 24/7. As the author has not mentioned anything about the economic stability of the company which may weaken the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
flaws:
No. of Words: 235 350
Minimum 250 words wanted
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 235 350
No. of Characters: 1124 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.915 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.783 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.718 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.894 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.4 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.604 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 72, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... of companys president, there should be a electronic monitoring system to keep a ...
^
Line 1, column 122, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'employees'' or 'employee's'?
Suggestion: employees'; employee's
...ic monitoring system to keep a track on employees internet usage, which completely is a v...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (co) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...uld be a violation of privacy, which co be a big issue, it might track some highly...
^^
Line 5, column 333, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'collect'
Suggestion: collect
...uch enormous amount of data, as it will collected from each and every employees workstati...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 363, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'employees'' or 'employee's'?
Suggestion: employees'; employee's
...s it will collected from each and every employees workstation, 24/7. As the author has no...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 392, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... and every employees workstation, 24/7. As the author has not mentioned anything a...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, may, so, third, kind of, sort of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.6327345309 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 4.0 28.8173652695 14% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 55.5748502994 52% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1158.0 2260.96107784 51% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 233.0 441.139720559 53% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96995708155 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.90696013833 4.56307096286 86% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78543087077 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 140.0 204.123752495 69% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.600858369099 0.468620217663 128% => OK
syllable_count: 354.6 705.55239521 50% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 19.7664670659 46% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.457498083 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.666666667 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8888888889 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.106467676857 0.218282227539 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.046876633474 0.0743258471296 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0596549216695 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0717983861107 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0305688883616 0.0628817314937 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.01 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 98.500998004 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.