The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
" In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits. "
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
A solution for the problem that the vice president for human resources highlights seems a possible logical way to solve it, but there are some points in the whole reasoning that are not clear and need more evidence in order to know if this is a viable solution.
In the first assumption it is stated that it is important to identify and punish employees who spend work hours on personal activities in order to increase the total number of hours actually spent on working. This passage is logically reasonable and a good starting point to identify the solution of that problem, but it also mentions the punishment which could not be an effective way of building a good relationship between workers and managers. Workers might get upset at this practice of constant control and punishment, so this might turn them against company managers thus reducing their will to put effort into their job and consequently lower the profits.
In that passage is also assumed that an electronic monitoring strategy prevents employees to waste time on their pc's, but it doesn't take into account that there are other sources of distraction except for their pc. Actually, they could do so with their personal mobile phones or by exploiting some fallacy in the software, maybe incentivised by a newly established bad relationship with their managers, thus making the point of the improvement of work ethic and efficiency weaker and weaker.
Something that is not considered in the manager's reasoning is the fact that employees are humans, and they work as humans, so there should be a research in the field of studies that analyze how the absence of distractions affects workers efficiency. An employee with the opportunity to take some breaks between work shifts might be happier and less stressed, therefore he or she could put more effort in his or her job, whereas, a tired worker with little time to distract himself or herself could be less efficient.
In conclusion we can say that more evidence is needed in order to support the vice president's reasoning and that other aspects have to be taken into account in order to fully understand if this practice is good to increase the company profits or the work ethic.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 375 350
No. of Characters: 1805 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.401 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.813 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.612 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 41.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.807 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.736 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 126, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...yees to waste time on their pcs, but it doesnt take into account that there are other ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 143, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...they work as humans, so there should be a research in the field of studies that analyze ho...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, first, if, may, so, therefore, thus, whereas, except for, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1839.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 374.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91711229947 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64832384832 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521390374332 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 19.7664670659 46% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 41.0 22.8473053892 179% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 23.9835334457 57.8364921388 41% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 204.333333333 119.503703932 171% => OK
Words per sentence: 41.5555555556 23.324526521 178% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.7777777778 5.70786347227 206% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.179831252849 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0730904451122 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.042858672841 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0984200907318 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0256085881646 0.0628817314937 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.5 14.3799401198 156% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.32 48.3550499002 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.1 12.197005988 148% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.14 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.43 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 18.4 11.1389221557 165% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.