The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The recommendation made by the vice president to the company's president at climpson Industries regarding the implementation of electronic monitoring of employees very superficial and based on very weak assumptions. So, they cannot be supported and there are multiple reasons for that.
The vice president focuses on implementing harsh measures on the employees with an assumption that it might uplift the work ethic and improve the overall profits. However, the vice president did not give much importance on the mental aspect of the employees. His affinity towards the traditional approach of task completion is discernible. This might turn counter productive. Various studies have indicated that the employee are able to operate in their maximum efficiency only when that are allowed to be in their comfort zone. It is true that the employee must follow the general rules of the work place, but they must be allowed to have some breathing space of their own. The work efficieny of the employee is directly associated with thier mental well being and not only the physical working hours, as presumed by the vice president.
The vice president focuses on increasing the working hours of the employees by limiting their "recreational activities". I have strong disagreement on this observation. This is not the right way to extract full efficiency off the employee. Rather, they can be given a certain assignment over a fix time scale and they can be judged based on the quality and quantity of thier end results. In the modern world, the management team and the employee must work as a common team, with proper sharing and understanding to yield the maximum output.
Quite evidently, the corporate sector as mentioned in this recommendation require even more intensive thinking and mental stress. So, little bit of comfort zone can help the employees to reboot themselves and get back to normal working speed. We all have heard about the physical setup of big IT companies and multi-billion dollar companies like Apple, GOOGLE, etc. The way these companies have managed the ambience and working environment is astonishing. The employees are not bound with time or harsh boundries.
Rather, the companies have adopted the policy in which they highly rate the completion of assigned task over the way of completion it. The employees are allowed to wander around, be in cafeteria, or even take a power nap. And, unsurprisingly, they are the most successful company in the world. This truely weakens the claim or recommendation made by the vice president.
However, there should always be a bare minimum protocol to ensure that the employees with really bad intension are kept in check. This helps the management team to filter their best team. Nevertheless, tt should always be in coordination between the management and employees.
So, the recommendation made by the vice president regarding the implementation of electronic monitoring of the employees seems like a very weak and superficially thought idea. His whole assumption of improvement of work ethics and productivity has no strong evidence and are easily negated with the evidence presented above.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 508 350
No. of Characters: 2594 1500
No. of Different Words: 246 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.748 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.106 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.886 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 84 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.815 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.737 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.259 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.317 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 135, Rule ID: LITTLE_BIT[1]
Message: Reduce redundancy by using 'little' or 'bit'.
Suggestion: little; bit
...tensive thinking and mental stress. So, little bit of comfort zone can help the employees ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, nevertheless, really, regarding, so, well, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2665.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 508.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24606299213 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74751043592 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01725551332 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494094488189 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 824.4 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.7844179486 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.1785714286 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1428571429 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.53571428571 5.70786347227 44% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.283400104961 0.218282227539 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0697759300904 0.0743258471296 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.079912206349 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149614425914 0.128457276422 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0836947616604 0.0628817314937 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.87 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 98.500998004 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.