The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this argument, the author concludes that in order to improve Clipson Industries' overall profits and proper work ethic, employees who use internet at workstations must be monitored.
The validation of this contention can be assured only if the author can address these following three assumptions.
First of all, the author assumes that productivity of the company is only tied to the performance of employees. This might not be true. In business, customers input cannot be ignored as far as profits and productivity are concerned. Perharps the demand of their products is low, hence, productivity is also low. In addition, maybe the number of employees needed for the output expected is not enough, obviously, productivity would decrease. When there is more hands, the rate at which a purpose is achieved is increased and thereby the productivity is also increased. If either of the scenerios holds true, the author's contention is significantly weekened.
Another possibility that would hinder the persuasiveness of the argument is that the author assumes that punishment is directly proportional to a positive change. This might not be true. Some people will only change when talked to calmly. As a adult, i believe if the reasons for a positive change is communicated to properly, there would surely be a good turnaround. What if people punished resigns, leading to low employees, hence, low productivity. If these opinions above is validated then the author's assertiond does not hold water.
Finally, the author assumes that the hours the employees spend on personal and recreational activities is the reason why their is low productivity. Maybe employees goes online during break time. I believe for every work, there is always a time to rest, maybe they are chatting with customers on the internet. Hence, if this holds true, the author's contention is weekened.
In conclusion, before an active step would be taken concerning what the author concluded, the above assumptions must well addressed.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 320 350
No. of Characters: 1639 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.229 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.122 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.867 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.527 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.305 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 446, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are more hands'?
Suggestion: there are more hands
...usly, productivity would decrease. When there is more hands, the rate at which a purpose is achieve...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 611, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...either of the scenerios holds true, the authors contention is significantly weekened. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 242, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...l only change when talked to calmly. As a adult, i believe if the reasons for a p...
^
Line 4, column 251, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ange when talked to calmly. As a adult, i believe if the reasons for a positive c...
^
Line 4, column 452, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...low employees, hence, low productivity. If these opinions above is validated then ...
^^
Line 5, column 122, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...creational activities is the reason why their is low productivity. Maybe employees go...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 340, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...nternet. Hence, if this holds true, the authors contention is weekened. In conclusion,...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, hence, if, may, so, then, well, in addition, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1689.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 320.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.278125 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95988643944 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.5375 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 526.5 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.6913047353 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.45 119.503703932 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 23.324526521 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.7 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.115197470552 0.218282227539 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0335506782879 0.0743258471296 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0407839417151 0.0701772020484 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0647803476465 0.128457276422 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0544877090703 0.0628817314937 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.