In the given memo, the producer claims that getting extra money is of paramount importance to ensure a quality product and prevent the movie from becoming a failure.The author has based this conclusion on the premise that the director of the movie is a neophyte in the film industry and has previously shot only shampoo commercials; given his experience only the advertising industry which is notriously wasteful, the author believes that director would protract the usual shooting time by repeatedly taking retakes.So, the author claims that though money has been saved by hiring a novice director and inexpreienced assistant producers, the savings would have to paid to the actors and the crew for the overtime.
Though the message the producer is trying to convey in his memo is conspicuous, the way he goes about it is flawed. At first glance, the argument seems convincing, but on closer inspection we realise that the argument is facile and is not foolproof.
In his statement about the advertising industry being infamously wasteful, the author makes the assumption that as a result of being used the prodiginous nature of the ad industry, the director will continue the same practices in the film industry. To bolster his claim, had the author cited examples from the present situation that the director is following the same practices from his previous experience, in the making of the film too, his argument would have been tenable. Just because of his background and limited experience, assuming that the director will not change or realise the differences in approach in the two industries is specious.
Similarly, the author says that the director will take frequent retakes, and that will in turn increase the remuneration of the actors and their entourage and other functionaries on the film set.This is based on the assumption that the staff is paid on an hourly basis. What if the entire crew is hired on a contractual basis and paid a lumpsum amount upfront and they are bound by the contract till the film is completed with no change in their wages. This assumption makes the argument contentious as there is no conclusive information to determine why there will be a greater expenditure in paying the staff.
Further, the author claims that increasing the funding will ensure a quality product.This is tantamount to saying that money is the panacea for all problems. The author assumes that the script is perfect, actors are flawless and under the novice director, the movie would be good. He fails to explain how will an increase in funding gurantee a good movie, funding will be increased only by 10% - is that sufficent? Does he take into account the locales, costumes, sets or is it only the hourly wages that affect the budgeting of the film? Thus, without any more specific information to buttress his claim, his argument is untenable.
Though the producer tries his best to advocate the cause of increasing the funding for the movie Working Title by 10%,his argument is riddled with many unwarranted assumptions.There is no conclusive information present in his memo to espouse his view that an increase in funding will prevent the movie from becoming a failure.
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: In the given memo, the producer claims that getting extra money is of paramount importance to ensure a quality product and prevent the movie from becoming a failure.The author has based this conclusion on the premise that the director of the movie is a neophyte in the film industry and has previously shot only shampoo commercials; given his experience only the advertising industry which is notriously wasteful, the author believes that director would protract the usual shooting time by
Error: notriously Suggestion: notoriously
Sentence: repeatedly taking retakes.So, the author claims that though money has been saved by hiring a novice director and inexpreienced assistant producers, the savings would have to paid to the actors and the crew for the overtime.
Error: inexpreienced Suggestion: inexperienced
Sentence: At first glance, the argument seems convincing, but on closer inspection we realise that the argument is facile and is not foolproof.
Error: realise Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In his statement about the advertising industry being infamously wasteful, the author makes the assumption that as a result of being used the prodiginous nature of the ad industry, the director will continue the same practices in the film industry.
Error: prodiginous Suggestion: prodigious
Sentence: Just because of his background and limited experience, assuming that the director will not change or realise the differences in approach in the two industries is specious.
Error: realise Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Similarly, the author says that the director will take frequent retakes, and that will in turn increase the remuneration of the actors and their entourage and other functionaries on the film set.This is based on the assumption that the staff is paid on an hourly basis.
Error: entourage Suggestion: encourage
Sentence: What if the entire crew is hired on a contractual basis and paid a lumpsum amount upfront and they are bound by the contract till the film is completed with no change in their wages.
Error: upfront Suggestion: front
Error: lumpsum Suggestion: lumps
Sentence: He fails to explain how will an increase in funding gurantee a good movie, funding will be increased only by 10 - is that sufficent?
Error: sufficent Suggestion: sufficient
Error: gurantee Suggestion: guarantee
----------------
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 536 350
No. of Characters: 2606 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.812 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.862 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.612 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.922 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.626 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 166, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...event the movie from becoming a failure.The author has based this conclusion on the...
^^^
Line 1, column 517, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...oting time by repeatedly taking retakes.So, the author claims that though money ha...
^^
Line 7, column 196, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...and other functionaries on the film set.This is based on the assumption that the sta...
^^^^
Line 9, column 86, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...e funding will ensure a quality product.This is tantamount to saying that money is t...
^^^^
Line 11, column 177, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...ddled with many unwarranted assumptions.There is no conclusive information present in...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, similarly, so, thus, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2674.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 530.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04528301887 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79809637944 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77159323016 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456603773585 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 818.1 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 22.8473053892 153% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 148.179020857 57.8364921388 256% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 178.266666667 119.503703932 149% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.3333333333 23.324526521 151% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.2 5.70786347227 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.196207252952 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0594212095729 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.062000223128 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101894903901 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.06368728658 0.0628817314937 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.0 14.3799401198 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.41 48.3550499002 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 55.0 12.3882235529 444% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 16.0 11.1389221557 144% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.