The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station.
"To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area.
Manager of WWAC radio station wrote memorandum and it stated that if we change the current rock-music format to the new news and talk format than the listener will increase.This author conclusion is baseless.If they change the format it doesn't mean the listener will increase.
In this area population growth increase but may be new people are not the music lovers and author also says that the people are retired so they may be not also interested in news and talk.
Author hasn't commented about the quality of the station.It could be case that the radio jockey is not good.Music is not good.In short quality of station has decreased and so people are not preferring to listen WWAC radio station.Author assumed that new format attract more people but after changing this format,reputation of the radio station may be decrease and listeners could be decrease from this present level.
Author is not clear in selecting the new format in mid talk it stated that change format to the their tasted and last concluded that the change to the news and talk format.Author haven't given any statistical data of people interest.
Author claimed continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggest limited interest but may be people downloading from internet,bought outside from this area, bought from online stores like amazon,iTunes.It couldn't completely conveys the declining of people interest in music and proportional to the declining of radio station and viseversa.Radio station and recorded music is different from each other.
And last,author haven't told about other radio station.news and talk format is popular in this area so WWAC could be face competitors and may be other station better than this radio station so listeners may decline more and more this station.so,this author assumption not sufficient to fulfill the conclusion.
Sentence: Author assumed that new format attract more people but after changing this format, reputation of the radio station may be decrease and listeners could be decrease from this present level.
Description: The fragment format attract more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace attract with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Author is not clear in selecting the new format in mid talk it stated that change format to the their tasted and last concluded that the change to the news and talk format.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to the and their
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 133 200
Don't just put one or two sentences for one argument.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 318 350
No. of Characters: 1516 1500
No. of Different Words: 133 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.223 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.767 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.317 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.706 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.996 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.618 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5