The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
This argument is about the recent decline in the profits of Movies Galore's ten video rental stores. The owner of the store is of the opinion that they must reduce operating expense at the store as he points out that thay are famous for their special bargains therefore raising the rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Moreover, the author says that last month their store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Furthermore the author is suggesting that in order to increase profits without jeopardizing their reputaion for offering great movies at lower prices, they must implement the similar changes in their other nine Movies Galore stores. However in order to fully critique this argument, we need to have a significant amount of additional evidence.
The first piece of evidence that we would need in order to evaluate this agrument is why there is a decline in profits of Movies Galore's stores. Clearly there is no mentioning of any other competitors. Whether the competitors have found a new tactic to increase their profits or the customers of Movies Galore's are now inclined towards other stores because of more benifits. There is also a possibilty that the other stores are providing thw videos in much lower prices as compared to Movies Galore's store and this might be the reason in decline in thier profits.
Another piece of evidence that might help us evaluate this claims involve the owner strategy about one store in downtown Marston which significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stocks by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. But the author has not provided the conclusion about the downtown Marston store whether it is in profit or not. Clearly if this store is also not in making profit then the owner opinion about descrsing the operating expenses to all other nine stores will not be viable.
One problem with this argument is that the author has not provided the details of the latest videos releases. It might be possible that the video industry in going through a rough patch and no good movies or songs are being released which is why there is a decline in business. Moreover the citizen has now turned towards digital gadgets like MP3 player, iPod etc which provides lots of songs, videos in a small device and is much cheaper and easier to carry. Furthermore the increase of internet websites like Youtube etc are providing all these stuffs for free which might be the case in the decline in the profits of Movies Galore's stores.
The author has not offered convincing evidence to support his views. He should have strengthened his argument by providing the concrete details on how by decreasing the operating expense will increase their stores profits. To conclude whether reduction in operating expenses and stocks will increase their profits, different questions relating the relevant evidence is required. The author has to work towards making his assumption logically more correct.
Sentence: The owner of the store is of the opinion that they must reduce operating expense at the store as he points out that thay are famous for their special bargains therefore raising the rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits.
Error: thay Suggestion: they
Sentence: Furthermore the author is suggesting that in order to increase profits without jeopardizing their reputaion for offering great movies at lower prices, they must implement the similar changes in their other nine Movies Galore stores.
Error: reputaion Suggestion: reputation
Sentence: The first piece of evidence that we would need in order to evaluate this agrument is why there is a decline in profits of Movies Galore's stores.
Error: agrument Suggestion: argument
Sentence: Whether the competitors have found a new tactic to increase their profits or the customers of Movies Galore's are now inclined towards other stores because of more benifits.
Error: benifits Suggestion: benefits
Sentence: There is also a possibilty that the other stores are providing thw videos in much lower prices as compared to Movies Galore's store and this might be the reason in decline in thier profits.
Error: possibilty Suggestion: possibility
Error: thw Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Clearly if this store is also not in making profit then the owner opinion about descrsing the operating expenses to all other nine stores will not be viable.
Error: descrsing Suggestion: decreasing
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
Argument 1 -- NOT OK
Argument 2 -- NOT OK
Argument 3 -- NOT OK
Don't need to reiterate the topic in the first paragraph.
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The premises：
1 In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores.
2 in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices
The conclusion：
implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores
Statements：
1.Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits.
2.Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M.
3. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago.
Arguments:
1. why we can't rise price?
2. It works in one location doesn't mean it will work well on other locations
3. Even if the cost-cutting measures increased profitability at the Marston store last
month, there is no guarantee that such measures would continue to increase profitability over time.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 536 350
No. of Characters: 2625 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.812 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.897 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.467 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 207 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.223 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5