138. Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom. Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning. 事实Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely

Some people assert that competition can motive students to get a better academic performance in the classroom, while others believe that competition seriously impede students' real learning. I agree with both ideas and would go further to say that: moderate competition contributes to the better academic results, but excessive competition proved counterproductive. Furthermore, students should regard competition as means of self-stimulating and self-improvement and competition itself should not become the focus of attention.
To start with, i agree with the view that competition for high grades stimulates students' better schorlarly performance, and more precisely moderate competition rather than over-competition. Contest is the part of human nature and throughout history humans constantly compete not only for material things, but also for glories and honors. In students' mind high grades are such things and they occupy a sacred place because they equate to a better ranking, teachers' praise, parents' expectations and classmates' admiring. All students want to get the highest score and win the first place among the classmate. As a result, this goal encourages students to work harder and devote themselves wholeheartedly in studies. The students who obtained the first place will keep working hard to save the leading position. And the other students who failed this time, wil strive hard to make greater process next time. Hence the competition among students promotes a strong learning atsmosphere, which improves all students' academic record.
On the other hand, that competition might play a counterproductive role because it makes student become more bellligerent and susceptible to depression , just as other people contend. In addition, that limit the quality of real learnning if students fail to deal with the negative aspects brought by excessive competition. These negative effects include mental and physical disease. Stress, anxiety, anger, for instances, many students claimed that they have experienced emotional depression while they are preparing for the competition. Sometimes, mental pressure results in physical diseases, such as insomnia, decrease in immunity. More extremely, students improperly handling these pressures tend face at more disastrous problems, such as drug addiction. A recent report on students' learning habits disclosed that many students are taking "smart drugs" to enhance their abilities of memory and reflection, thus they can obtain a better result in Gaoka. It turns out that " smart drugs" is a soft drug and students taking them frequently will be addicted. It is inadvisable even illegal to win a temporary competition by taking drugs. Although peope may argue that competition itself is not to blame, It is true that competition do have negative effects on students especially when it is too imprudent for students to handle.
As both parts have reasons, and competition is a double-edged sword. Some people might confuse aboute the nature of competition, about the limit between its advantages and disadvantages and about the right attitude toward it. First, I tend to say that the nature of competition is a process and not a result, is a minor, by looking into which students can show their weaknesses and strengths. Second, there is not a clear line between its positive and negative sides, and everyone has their own balance, but the minimum threshold is that competition itself should never be the focus of attention. Prioritizing competitions for higher grades over other things like health, families, friendship and moral standards, produces regrettable results. Third, how can youngsters properly deal with contest and its side effects ? My suggestion is always thinking a bigger picture. It is important for students to keep in mind that contest for higher grades only ephemeral period of school times, and in contrast cooperation between colleagues, negotiation with clients will become the mainstream of lasting working times.
In conclusion, my stance aligns with both sides of views and tend to associate two sides into one argument that moderate competition kindles students' learning passion, but immoderate competition harms students' mental and physical health. By thinking competition as a process and carrying a comprehensive picture of life, students could cultivate in themselves in a right attitude towards competition.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 16, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...the focus of attention. To start with, i agree with the view that competition fo...
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Line 2, column 367, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and honors. In students mind high grades are such things and they occupy a sacred...
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Line 2, column 906, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...hard to make greater process next time. Hence the competition among students promotes...
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Line 3, column 19, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ts academic record. On the other hand, that competition might play a counterpro...
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Line 3, column 153, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...llligerent and susceptible to depression , just as other people contend. In addit...
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Line 4, column 298, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ture of competition is a process and not a result, is a minor, by looking into wh...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, look, may, second, so, third, thus, while, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in contrast, such as, as a result, it is true, to start with, in the first place, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 32.0 14.8657303371 215% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 33.0505617978 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 58.6224719101 123% => OK
Nominalization: 39.0 12.9106741573 302% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3753.0 2235.4752809 168% => OK
No of words: 670.0 442.535393258 151% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.60149253731 5.05705443957 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.08766726615 4.55969084622 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04295318927 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 345.0 215.323595506 160% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514925373134 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 1146.6 704.065955056 163% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.77640449438 507% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 20.2370786517 153% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.2953334943 60.3974514979 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.064516129 118.986275619 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6129032258 23.4991977007 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.29032258065 5.21951772744 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.326726708873 0.243740707755 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0790343263419 0.0831039109588 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.072688491609 0.0758088955206 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187422159407 0.150359130593 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0521133583995 0.0667264976115 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.1392134831 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.2 12.1639044944 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 186.0 100.480337079 185% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 11.8971910112 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.