“The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.”
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Leadership is by means the ability to integrate the power, and gathering opinions of the crowd. It is a crucial skill and virtue in the 21st century. Some may argue that cultivating leadership should be done by cooperation and not competition, while I assume that contesting is an essence of building leadership.
Many would insist that competition would discourage people who are inferior in certain realms, and make those who won being condescending figures, but not those who can actually lead the crowd. Take the example of elementary school students, which most of them may compare their grades, and sometimes students who get good scores may flout at others. Indeed, this phenomenon is not a good sprout for establishing a future leader. On the contrary, an ideal cooperation between people may galvanize them to find each of their strengths and weaknesses, and therefore by naturally generating a figure who is good at assigning jobs to others which the task suits their ability. Furthermore, he can make giant leaps by leading the crowd, and the society may improve continuously as a whole.
However, competition is a much more realistic and efficient methodology to have the same effect as cooperation, and foster leadership of young people. During competition, participants may put away all their strength to win, and that it is more clear to find their individual abilities. In contrast, cooperation may sometimes face the so-called "public indolence". For instance, in the 1950s, the People's Republic of China tried to execute Communism, so they implemented policies to avoid policies of competition, and encouraged people to work together. Such measurements include farming the same crops, and eating the same food at the same place. As a ramification, the society actually stalled to improve and faced hunger, and no new generation is able to stand out a lead the country for a better way. On the contrary, Japan was just recovering from WW2, and during the time multiple parties were competing by addressing the national policies they want, and persuading the public to vote for them. The result is obvious, that many famous and young politicians were fostered, and Japan went a huge rise in economics and became a strong nation.
The way to prepare leadership is under dispute. While some may insist on fostering by cooperation, I disagree with this statement and think that competition is a better method. In this way not only we can discover strengths more eaily, but also galvanizing youth to learn the importance of leadership.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 160, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'argues'.
Suggestion: argues
...nd virtue in the 21st century. Some may argue that cultivating leadership should be d...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, furthermore, however, if, may, so, therefore, while, for instance, in contrast, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 14.8657303371 155% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 58.6224719101 84% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2152.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 417.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16067146283 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5189133491 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96027406088 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 215.323595506 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558752997602 0.4932671777 113% => OK
syllable_count: 668.7 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 15.0 1.77640449438 844% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.8559698384 60.3974514979 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.263157895 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9473684211 23.4991977007 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10526315789 5.21951772744 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173244140528 0.243740707755 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0488092984892 0.0831039109588 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0350938685253 0.0758088955206 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0961506729691 0.150359130593 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0203102604785 0.0667264976115 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.81 8.38706741573 105% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 100.480337079 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.