"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
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Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Youth people are the next generation who will take leads in the near future. Hence, preparing them with education and oppotunities to learn from real life are extremely crucial. Among those things that they have to learn, cooperation is one of the most important part, and it is also worth to emphasize that cooperation is more important than competition.
At living in the developed world, there are multiple things to learn and to explore. Thus, one might choose which area they focus on to she could be able to master her subject. In this regard, she also needs to colaborate with others to solve a problem since she only masters her field. Take for an example an issue in the inequality property tax at a state. It might seem easily, at the first glance, that only policy makers could solve this problem. However, analyzing data is not an easy task for politican. Therefore, they need helps from statisticians who understand quite well how to crunch numbers. As we can see, no competition is helpful in this case as the whole state needs to come together to solve this problem. If every country strives on a competition to see to solve it first, it won't work since in order to modify a measure, a ballot is needed.
For young people, if we only focus on competing each other in term of education and jobs whatsoeer, they might not be able to succeed since most of the problems nowadays are quite intricate. However, a little bit competitive would be good sometimes as it might teach the youth that nothing is impossible. Some competitions will show the youth that with effort and hard-working, they can achieve a certain place in the field. For example, a programing competition will be a great chance to challenge participants in term of the material, but more importantly, it challenges their "I can't do it" believe.
In sum, I woud agree with the statement to a certain extent that young leaders in our society need to be instilled a sense of cooperation as it is significant to improve their working area, either government, industry or any fields. However, a few competitions are good sometimes as it motivates young people to work-hard and to define themselves.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 202, Rule ID: LITTLE_BIT[1]
Message: Reduce redundancy by using 'little' or 'bit'.
Suggestion: little; bit
...owadays are quite intricate. However, a little bit competitive would be good sometimes as ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 587, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...mportantly, it challenges their 'I cant do it' believe. In sum, I woud a...
^^^^
Line 4, column 349, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to work-hard and to define themselves.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, so, still, therefore, thus, well, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 33.0505617978 118% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1810.0 2235.4752809 81% => OK
No of words: 377.0 442.535393258 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80106100796 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4064143971 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73436078218 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 215.323595506 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554376657825 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 574.2 704.065955056 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.8420867062 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.555555556 118.986275619 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9444444444 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.61111111111 5.21951772744 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.10916527775 0.243740707755 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0314140446055 0.0831039109588 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0291370593574 0.0758088955206 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0678756196762 0.150359130593 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0255847064211 0.0667264976115 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.1392134831 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 12.1639044944 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 100.480337079 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.