The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or any other field is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, and not competition
"United we stand, Divided we fall', A very common saying which is apposite for the given argument. In any field where people are working in collaboration, a sense of cooperation instead of competition always proves extra beneficial. And preparing our youth with such attribute from their childhood by implementing this environment in schools, colleges or any organizations will always be helpful. Though we need to make sure that cooperation should be implemented in a way that uplifts the group as a whole instead of an individual being pulled down. The stand I have taken is supported by illustrations and reasoning, that are pervasive in the entire passage.
commencing with the key benefit that the an individual can get with cooperation is the circulation of knowledge, which one tries to refrain from sharing if the environment is competitive. Holding back our knowledge, and refusing to share because we want to prove that we are better than the rest may seem like an individual growth but does not have healthy effects in the long run. Illustrating this with an example of the Information Technology departmant that I am working with. Two years back our company had an annual rating ehich was called as CR(Competitive Rating) and was evaluated with respect to the other members of the group, how well one has performed.However after complains by various team members the authority realized that this type of policy is not a healthy one to the organization as a whole and even on the individual level. The senior members were not sharing all the information with the other members of the team resulting in delays, inefficient work, lot of errors as the modules that the employees are working on is interlinked. Hence a new policy of IR(Individual rating) replaced the old one and our organization has seen mitigation of myriad of issues that it encountered previously.
However this cooperation should not be misinterpreted as bringing oneself down to avoid issues with the team. Cooperation also teaches you to put your point accross in a way that is understandable by the team members if it is a ligit one that is better than the others and ensuring that the team agrees to it. Moreover competition can prove healty if it is with oneself. Breaking your own records, which can involve taking help from others is the right way to compete instead of competing with your peers. Even at home, where parents have the tendency to compete their kids against their neighbor's or friends kids, only attracts more insecurities in their child. Psycologists have proven that a healhy mind requires a healthy way of growth. Comparisons, only bring resentment, if done with respect to others
Therefore to conclude, in any field of work which demands people to work together and any stage of life, cooperation always wins over competition. Realizing this can help us achieve bigger and better goals and help us avoid any negativity that comes with competition.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-02-16 | Megha_marhatta | 83 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Commencing
...are pervasive in the entire passage. commencing with the key benefit that the an indivi...
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Line 3, column 38, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'an' is left.
Suggestion: the; an
... commencing with the key benefit that the an individual can get with cooperation is ...
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Line 3, column 640, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t to the other members of the group, how well one has performed.However after com...
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Line 3, column 665, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
... the group, how well one has performed.However after complains by various team members...
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Line 3, column 665, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... the group, how well one has performed.However after complains by various team members...
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Line 3, column 726, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ns by various team members the authority realized that this type of policy is not...
^^
Line 3, column 1057, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...mployees are working on is interlinked. Hence a new policy of IRIndividual rating rep...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...sues that it encountered previously. However this cooperation should not be misinter...
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Line 5, column 311, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...nd ensuring that the team agrees to it. Moreover competition can prove healty if it is w...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ment, if done with respect to others Therefore to conclude, in any field of work which...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, well, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 58.6224719101 118% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2471.0 2235.4752809 111% => OK
No of words: 492.0 442.535393258 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02235772358 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70967865282 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94633504168 2.79657885939 105% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 215.323595506 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512195121951 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 774.0 704.065955056 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 6.24550561798 16% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.9539837905 60.3974514979 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.052631579 118.986275619 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8947368421 23.4991977007 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.31578947368 5.21951772744 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.107746355643 0.243740707755 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.035288005258 0.0831039109588 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0429735502389 0.0758088955206 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0749982709344 0.150359130593 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04053372722 0.0667264976115 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.1392134831 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.63 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 100.480337079 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.