the best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or in other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Some peope believe that the best way to educate the young people to be prepared for a leadership position is by cultivating the sense of cooperation instead of competition. For me, i mostly agree with this proposal, since the sence of cooperation plays an important role in the leadership position in the modern society. Although i admit that the awareness to be competitive is also vital to be successful leader, however most of the best student already learnt competition during the knowledge persue process. In this case, it is more imperative to instill them the ways to cooperate with others.
First of all, i have to address the importance of being cooperative. Being in the leadership position, no matter whether it is in a modern corperation or governmnet facility, it means dealing with different people and form the culture within one orgnization to call for everyone to work together. In this process, leaders are extremely important. A good leader is the individuals that people are willing to follow and serve, one must know how to cooperate with people in order to promote their willingness. Take Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla company, for example, he is a great leader who gathered thousands of best engineers in the world to work together in order to produce the electrical cars that he dreamed of. It is impossible for him to realize it by himself even though he knows the core technology. Without the team work, one can not achieve their own dream no matter how capable the person is.
Second of all, the reason i put cooperation prior to competition is also because most of young people already learnt the ability of being competitive. Take chinese high school students for instance, they are told to compete with peer at the first day of high school, due to there are only limited opportunities for granduates each year, and it is the scores that determined who can get the chance. They are aware of being the best will lead them win the test at the end of high school. In this process, there are not much team work stressed and required but the competition with friends and classmates. In this case, to prepare them being a good leader of china in the future, Chinese society has to instill them the methods of how to cooperate with others. There are also competitiva activities during the growing up of young people, such as different sports games, different tests, which already prepared them the sense of competition.
In a word. to better prepare our young generation to lead our society, the nation has to stress the importance of cooperation over competition, due to cooperation will be a great part of the leadership job, also the young people already gained the experience and skills to be competitive.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 331, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...osition in the modern society. Although i admit that the awareness to be competit...
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Line 1, column 599, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...them the ways to cooperate with others. First of all, i have to address the impo...
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Line 3, column 879, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ot achieve their own dream no matter how capable the person is. Second of al...
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Line 3, column 904, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...m no matter how capable the person is. Second of all, the reason i put cooperat...
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Line 5, column 27, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...rson is. Second of all, the reason i put cooperation prior to competition is...
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Line 5, column 341, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ortunities for granduates each year, and it is the scores that determined who can...
^^
Line 5, column 940, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...prepared them the sense of competition. In a word. to better prepare our young g...
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Line 7, column 12, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
... sense of competition. In a word. to better prepare our young generation to ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, still, as to, for example, for instance, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 58.6224719101 136% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2270.0 2235.4752809 102% => OK
No of words: 469.0 442.535393258 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84008528785 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72274687558 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488272921109 0.4932671777 99% => OK
syllable_count: 717.3 704.065955056 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.31291049 60.3974514979 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.473684211 118.986275619 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6842105263 23.4991977007 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52631578947 5.21951772744 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.199949481566 0.243740707755 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0614973810929 0.0831039109588 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0612618852612 0.0758088955206 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129044817856 0.150359130593 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0456392673332 0.0667264976115 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.1392134831 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.8420337079 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 12.1639044944 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 100.480337079 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.