The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
I partially agree that the best way for a society to prepare it's young people for leadership in government, industry , or other firelds is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. While comeptition sometimes brings out best out of the people, cooperation leads to overall all development of the team, After all modern complex problems, most of the time need group of intellectuals rather than individual geniuses.
First let's consider Manhattan Project, objective of which was to develop nuclear fission bomb which was necessary to end the world war. It was considered to be most complicated problem during that time. Manhattan project constituted group of brilliant minds of the time, instead of competing they worked cooperating with each other to make project successful. Although most of it's success is atttributed to Richard Feynman, who was a genius, without cooperation of other team members it would not have been possible for him alone to complete the project. So great leader is one who strives to bring the team together and focuses on overall development of the team. These qualities have to be instilled among young people when they grow.
Competition doesn't always end up with undesired results. It can be used to select best among the people and this will be motivating factor for people to work hard to get the result they desire. For example, GRE is considered to be most competitive exam where student fight nect to neck to get into top colleges. Competition in this case is necessary. If young people are not taught to compete, they might not be successful in overcoming initial obsctacles to be successful.
To conclude, in order to be leader in any field one has to reach there. The journey to reach the top is full of competition, only the best survives. Once a person reaches that position, it will be his/her duty to bring best out of the team and produce good results, which will be possible, if everyone in the team works as one and cooperate with each other.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 117, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e for leadership in government, industry , or other firelds is by instilling in th...
^^
Line 5, column 13, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...g people when they grow. Competition doesnt always end up with undesired results. I...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, so, still, while, after all, as to, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 14.8657303371 34% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 33.0505617978 64% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1675.0 2235.4752809 75% => OK
No of words: 341.0 442.535393258 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91202346041 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75115123998 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 215.323595506 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.577712609971 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 515.7 704.065955056 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.4366310096 60.3974514979 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.6875 118.986275619 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3125 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.9375 5.21951772744 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270286485253 0.243740707755 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0895321431499 0.0831039109588 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.179256878498 0.0758088955206 236% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176695238585 0.150359130593 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.151105702133 0.0667264976115 226% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.1392134831 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 100.480337079 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 11.8971910112 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.