Claim: The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.
Reason: Heroes and role models reveal a society's highest ideals.
The author claims that examining the character of a society’s role models is the most effective approach to identifying its character since those models could demonstrate the whole society’s highest ideals. I agree with the reason but have a disagreement with the claim due to the author’s over simplification of the character of a society.
we could not deny the fact that those chosen heroes do represent the most significant pursuit of our society. In fact, not only the traditional stories concerning historical heroes told by our teachers but also the exemplary deeds about current models reported by media always encourage us to develop characteristics which would meet the society’s moral expectations. The great achievements of Yulu Jiao, who devoted himself to saving the mountain village from poverty, cast lights on the strong dedication and the sense of responsibility. Learning about the Youyou Tu’s outstanding work on artemisinin to heal the malaria, one could gain more understanding of persistence as well as cooperation. Familiar with the heroic accomplishments of Min Yu who sacrifices the fame and fortune to study hydrogen bomb, people are expected to be loyal to the country without requirements of interests. Taking these things into consideration, we could know that those heroes as well as models are chosen to illustrate the whole society’s highest expectations.
However, identifying the characteristics of models may still be useless to identify the society’s characters since there might be a giant gap between a society’s prospects and its real features. Sometimes the social expectations are too ideal and unrealistic to be achieved. For instance, teachers keep instilling in our minds the stories of DaYu who never went back home in order to protect other people from the horrible flood. Touched as we are, chances are high that few people would actually imitate his behavior, not to mention considering it as a social feature. Besides, people nowadays are so tired of struggling with the rapid pace, giant pressure as well as various deceptions of current life that they could hardly comply with some moral requirements. Pengyu, a warm-hearted college students, offered a helping hand to the old lady who fell on the road, only to be charged with knocking her down. Under such circumstance, would most people still be willing to be as kind as they are taught?
To sum up, the society does select role models to disclose its ideals, but they may have a discrepancy with the real situation and examining features of role models to reveal social characters is unreliable.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...cation of the character of a society. we could not deny the fact that those chos...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, however, if, may, so, still, well, for instance, in fact, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2231.0 2235.4752809 100% => OK
No of words: 420.0 442.535393258 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3119047619 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.16125477398 2.79657885939 113% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 215.323595506 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.564285714286 0.4932671777 114% => OK
syllable_count: 685.8 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.4629808961 60.3974514979 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.4375 118.986275619 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.25 23.4991977007 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8125 5.21951772744 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274607343179 0.243740707755 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0824535014674 0.0831039109588 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122280372886 0.0758088955206 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215330228751 0.150359130593 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.121862321316 0.0667264976115 183% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.1392134831 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.1639044944 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 100.480337079 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 11.8971910112 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.