Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
The world is ever evolving, with new discoveries being made, new technologies being invented. The world today is indisputably advanced when compared to the past. New technologies mean new fields to study in, new job opportunities and a new line of work. Students graduating from college have a plethora of careers to choose. Many choose to pursue a career in a fields which is completely different from their current graduation study as well. Thus, nowadays the career opportunities are not restricted by the field of study you had chosen, but instead depends on what you actually want to do. The internet ahs played a major role in making people more cognizant about the various fields and opportunities available. This helps people analyze different fields and choose something which resonates with their passion and skillset. It is because of these available platforms that youth in the country are given more freedom and exhorted to follow their dreams.
Some claim that although youth should be allowed to pursue their dreams they must be careful to pick up worthy goals. Many people pick goals which suit them best but do not think of the outside world, what impact will it have on external factors. I do not completely agree with this view for some reason. The dreams or goals that a person has are always aligned with his/her interests or I would rather say that the goals must be aligned with their interests. The reason being that we excel at something only if we are passionate about what we do, we want to get better at it, if we put genuine efforts and not perfunctorily drag it ahead. So the goals a person has will definitely reflect his inner desires, what he wants to become, so on and so forth.
There are various surrounding ecosystem factors that affects the way a person thinks. Their thoughts, their actions are shaped by what they have experienced. For example - The son of a poor laborer who has seen poverty through his childhood, will probably take up a job which pays him well when he grows up. He thinks little of what this job is, what is the outcome of it will be. His aim would be not to be poor again. The way a person has been raised, the things he has experienced dictate the way he behaves in life ahead. So while his goals/dreams might be cynical, there is a hidden reason to why it is so. It is not as simple as that he picks up a goal because he is self-fish because if it is so we must understand what makes him think so in the first place.
There are many people who re serving in the social sector nowadays, there are many organizations helping the poor and the needy. There are so many volunteers who turn up and help people because they want to make the world a better place. Many people who work for these causes do so without expecting anything in return they are purely motivated by their desire to help people. Thus, their dreams are not motivated by some personal self-fish reason but its otherwise. People who are not part of such organizations also play a vital rile by donating money or participating in campaigns voluntarily. Thus, a person should definitely choose his/her goal/dream according to what suits them, what matches their skills and passion but at the same time make sure that they take out time and dedicatedly do something that gives the society back.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 360, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a field' or simply 'fields'?
Suggestion: a field; fields
...oose. Many choose to pursue a career in a fields which is completely different from thei...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 340, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[8]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'has' and 'are'.
Suggestion: has always are
...ason. The dreams or goals that a person has are always aligned with his/her interests or I wou...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 344, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
.... The dreams or goals that a person has are always aligned with his/her interests o...
^^^
Line 7, column 58, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ople who re serving in the social sector nowadays, there are many organizations h...
^^
Line 7, column 604, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cipating in campaigns voluntarily. Thus, a person should definitely choose his/he...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, so, thus, well, while, for example, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.5258426966 174% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 33.0505617978 203% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 12.9106741573 8% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2739.0 2235.4752809 123% => OK
No of words: 587.0 442.535393258 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6660988075 5.05705443957 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9222030514 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52802046618 2.79657885939 90% => OK
Unique words: 277.0 215.323595506 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471890971039 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 843.3 704.065955056 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.4043474898 60.3974514979 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.4482758621 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2413793103 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.96551724138 5.21951772744 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.198086233775 0.243740707755 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0546443423136 0.0831039109588 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.05107233958 0.0758088955206 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125911138704 0.150359130593 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0506142000861 0.0667264976115 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 48.8420337079 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.1743820225 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 12.1639044944 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.38706741573 89% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 100.480337079 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.