Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
"A single dream is worth a thousand realities" is a quotes by a famous author. It means that what one dreams to achieve is far significant than what he or she may be able to achieve in reality. Dreams are what galvanize a human being it inspires us to push our limit and to become something greater than ourself. The above prompt suggests that one should not follow his/hers dreams as they mostly of selfish intent and should pick up more worthy goals which benefit the society as a whole. I disagree with the prompt for the following reasons.
Human are the most intelligent species in the animal kingdom. Dreams are basically one's goals and desires which they want to get into fruition. Dreams can be of selfish intent sometimes but one would always excel in following their dream rather than working for a common goal. If one has a dream of becoming the greatest soccer player of all time and is forced into doing some task which he has no interest in just because it is considered a worthy goal, not only will he not be good at the task he is forced but he will also miss out the opportunity to become the soccer star he dreamed to be. If only he/she would has followed there dream and become a soccer star they could have inspired millions of other people and inherently do more good to the society. One cannot justify this dream as selfish as it indirectly does more good to the society than just pure selfishness.
Following dreams gives one freedom and independence to do what one might like which one of the fundamental building blocks of our society. If one is not allowed to follow their dreams will always has the antipathy of not being able to follow their dreams and will always wonder "what if I had done things differently?". Ones dream could be a become a scientist and by following their dreams they could have come up with a cure for cancer which a far noble goal than most. Calling all dreams selfish is a flawed argument in itself as some dreams are done purely based on passion rather than for monetary benefits. Even though one might have monetary benefits in their mind their dreams can be justified as worthy. If for instance one dreams to become a successful business man and achieves it but after in the process of becoming successful they would have not only improved their life but of thousands of other people who are inadvertently affected by the business.
In conclusion, dreams are what separates humans form other animals. It is what drives us to work hard even on the most bleak days, just so one day would achieve it. Following dreams do more good as they produce a better output from a human than if they would do something they disliked which intern is more worthy.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 84, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...he animal kingdom. Dreams are basically ones goals and desires which they want to ge...
^^^^
Line 3, column 617, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
... he dreamed to be. If only he/she would has followed there dream and become a socce...
^^^
Line 5, column 197, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...owed to follow their dreams will always has the antipathy of not being able to foll...
^^^
Line 5, column 331, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: One's
...f I had done things differently?'. Ones dream could be a become a scientist and...
^^^^
Line 5, column 790, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to become a successful business man and achieves it but after in the process of ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 33.0505617978 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2249.0 2235.4752809 101% => OK
No of words: 488.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60860655738 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70007681154 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46250350425 2.79657885939 88% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 215.323595506 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.444672131148 0.4932671777 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 702.0 704.065955056 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.8433767393 60.3974514979 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.45 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4 23.4991977007 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.55 5.21951772744 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271394107849 0.243740707755 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0988630041507 0.0831039109588 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0555959619833 0.0758088955206 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.185208688334 0.150359130593 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0472438916396 0.0667264976115 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.1392134831 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 48.8420337079 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 12.1639044944 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 100.480337079 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 84, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...he animal kingdom. Dreams are basically ones goals and desires which they want to ge...
^^^^
Line 3, column 617, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
... he dreamed to be. If only he/she would has followed there dream and become a socce...
^^^
Line 5, column 197, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...owed to follow their dreams will always has the antipathy of not being able to foll...
^^^
Line 5, column 331, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: One's
...f I had done things differently?'. Ones dream could be a become a scientist and...
^^^^
Line 5, column 790, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to become a successful business man and achieves it but after in the process of ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 33.0505617978 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2249.0 2235.4752809 101% => OK
No of words: 488.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60860655738 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70007681154 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46250350425 2.79657885939 88% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 215.323595506 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.444672131148 0.4932671777 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 702.0 704.065955056 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.8433767393 60.3974514979 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.45 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4 23.4991977007 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.55 5.21951772744 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271394107849 0.243740707755 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0988630041507 0.0831039109588 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0555959619833 0.0758088955206 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.185208688334 0.150359130593 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0472438916396 0.0667264976115 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.1392134831 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 48.8420337079 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 12.1639044944 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 100.480337079 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.