Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which

Essay topics:

Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.

Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.

As picking up selfish dreams could lead detrimental effect on others, people should emphasis more on picking worthy goals which is in favor of society and mankind.

Young generation is the future of the society. Once they will lead the country and the world. They should be specific to their dream which should be merely inclined to the welfare of the society and the world. However it is quite common that few well established person of the current society pay no attention on the future of the society or country. Though few generous people are working hard to make the world a better place. What makes the difference between this two distinct kind of personality. As both types of peoples are well established and success in life in their own, that is their aim, which makes them different. Suppose an unethical businessman whose dream was to be a billionaire chose devious methods to earn money, i.e, adulation to food, appropriating others land and making theme park or other recreational areas. That short of peoples aim and the path to be succeed does not considers the trouble of others. Those peoples once became a business tycoon, lets thousands of civilians to suffer. That is their dream which lead such suffering of the innocent. A high school student who wants to be a nuclear scientist in future if does not pay any attention on the good will of the innocent, may be in future would make atom bomb. Who knows which may result in another severity like World War. If that boy had concern about the human welfare he may take an important role in designing a nuclear power plant. And that sort of effort will reduce the pain of numerous civilian. So only in difference in the dream could lead a favorable upheaval rather than an disaster.

Einstein discovered the popular mass to energy conversion formula. Which could be used as nuclear bomb to destroy thousand of peoples or as a source of energy which could be helpful for thousands. He has a dream to discover the hidden natural phenomena, however it rest upon his successors either his theory could be used for mankind or against it. And in case of such sort of dream this is the dream of the successor which which should be properly sort out.

So people should chose their dream carefully keeping in mind that that should be in favor of others and then follow the dreams.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 211, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...e welfare of the society and the world. However it is quite common that few well establ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 352, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...n the future of the society or country. Though few generous people are working hard to...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 899, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'consider'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: consider
...aim and the path to be succeed does not considers the trouble of others. Those peoples on...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 899, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'consider'
Suggestion: consider
...aim and the path to be succeed does not considers the trouble of others. Those peoples on...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1250, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Who” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... may be in future would make atom bomb. Who knows which may result in another sever...
^^^
Line 5, column 1313, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ult in another severity like World War. If that boy had concern about the human we...
^^
Line 5, column 1573, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...d lead a favorable upheaval rather than an disaster. Einstein discovered the ...
^^
Line 9, column 115, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a thousand'.
Suggestion: a thousand
...ould be used as nuclear bomb to destroy thousand of peoples or as a source of energy whi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'rests'?
Suggestion: rests
...he hidden natural phenomena, however it rest upon his successors either his theory c...
^^^^
Line 9, column 419, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: which
...ream this is the dream of the successor which which should be properly sort out. So ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ch which should be properly sort out. So people should chose their dream caref...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, so, then, well, as to, kind of, sort of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.4196629213 145% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 33.0505617978 79% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1943.0 2235.4752809 87% => OK
No of words: 411.0 442.535393258 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72749391727 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41793822337 2.79657885939 86% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 215.323595506 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523114355231 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 587.7 704.065955056 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.204735154 60.3974514979 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.3181818182 118.986275619 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6818181818 23.4991977007 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.59090909091 5.21951772744 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 7.80617977528 141% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234653346182 0.243740707755 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0679931404391 0.0831039109588 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0684565076155 0.0758088955206 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178296328896 0.150359130593 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0415177857413 0.0667264976115 62% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 14.1392134831 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 48.8420337079 144% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 12.1743820225 65% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 12.1639044944 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 100.480337079 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.