Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which

Essay topics:

Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.

Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based

This topic raises the controversial issue of whether picking worthy goal is a better option for a child rather that following his dream. Indisputably, sometimes child are influenced by many bad culture or illicit activities and this could encourage them to dream to do some illegal activities. Nevertheless, that is a very rare case because children are supervised by their parent; so they seldom will be exposed to thus materials. They will actually be exposed to ubiquitous materials around them and grow interest about some of the things around him. And eventually will think of himself to pick a dream for his future of his liking. Thus, I generally disagree with the claim that children should be advised to pick worthy goals and would argue that they should be given the liberty of picking their future themselves.

First of all, dreams are meant to be selfish. They are the canvas where a child draws his future self. I would like to point out that when a child given some particular goals and told to pick one of them, they are actually being humiliated. To illustrate, let us look at the example of an artist who is given a pen without ink to draw on a already drawn picture. In this circumstance, it is obvious that, he can't draw anything with the empty pen and the dreawing will remain as it was. This is kind of humiliation for the artist. Consequently, obviously for a child to pick a predetermined goal is like not dreaming of anything at all. Both common sense and personal experience have told us that, they are injurious to the mental health of a child.

Admittedly, some of the dreams can be infectious for the society as well as the country. This is true specially when a child's dream are related to some criminal activities. In addition, they are very bad for the child as well. However, I would still disagree with obliging them to pick a worthy goal and would encourage them to pick their dreams. Because, here worthy goal is set by the society which actually can be unworthy for the child.

In conclusion, I would say that every individual should be let to pick their own goal. As long as some measurements are performed and some areas are involved, this claim would hold true.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 391, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[7]
Message: The adverb 'seldom' is usually put between 'will' and 'be'.
Suggestion: will seldom be
...are supervised by their parent; so they seldom will be exposed to thus materials. They will ac...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 523, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...als around them and grow interest about some of the things around him. And eventually will ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 531, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding things'?
Suggestion: the surrounding things
...nd them and grow interest about some of the things around him. And eventually will think of himself t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 339, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...o is given a pen without ink to draw on a already drawn picture. In this circumst...
^
Line 5, column 409, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...is circumstance, it is obvious that, he cant draw anything with the empty pen and th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 409, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'cants'.
Suggestion: cants
...is circumstance, it is obvious that, he cant draw anything with the empty pen and th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 544, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...umiliation for the artist. Consequently, obviously for a child to pick a predeter...
^^
Line 5, column 620, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...edetermined goal is like not dreaming of anything at all. Both common sense and p...
^^
Line 11, column 13, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... health of a child. Admittedly, some of the dreams can be infectious for the societ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 250, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he child as well. However, I would still disagree with obliging them to pick a wo...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, consequently, first, however, look, nevertheless, so, still, thus, well, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, as well as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.5258426966 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 58.6224719101 82% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1830.0 2235.4752809 82% => OK
No of words: 389.0 442.535393258 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70437017995 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60731245874 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 215.323595506 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493573264781 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 558.9 704.065955056 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 6.24550561798 256% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.0299069526 60.3974514979 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 87.1428571429 118.986275619 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5238095238 23.4991977007 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.85714285714 5.21951772744 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.116150091226 0.243740707755 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0404942571905 0.0831039109588 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.038197491991 0.0758088955206 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0793665462484 0.150359130593 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0281217280946 0.0667264976115 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 14.1392134831 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 48.8420337079 144% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 12.1743820225 65% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 12.1639044944 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.38706741573 88% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 100.480337079 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.