Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
I do not agree with the statement that one should follow only worthy selfless goals. While it is certainly true that humans are social animals and we should look out for each other in some form , that is no reason to stifle one's dream.
While it seems illogical , there is nothing wrong with having selfish dreams. A young person can only be motivated to follow his dream if he truly is passionate about achieving it. If someone dictates the terms of what his goal should be , there is a good chance he will achieve neither his own dream nor strive to achieve the goals set for him. People should accept that not every one is a philanthropist and will work towards a noble social cause. It also has to be noted that a selfish person can contribute a lot to the society by simple fulfilling his dreams. Consider a case of a individual who wants to become a entrepreneur only to fulfill his material needs and his passion. If he becomes succesful , he will undoubtedly create many other jobs which will support other people.
Similarly , the claim talks about 'worthy goals' , but who can decide these for an individual ? What is worthy for one human may not be for other. Take an example of a young student who wants to become a teacher to help educate the poor students. On ethical terms , this is certainly a 'worthy' goal. But should such restrictions of choosing similar career be imposed upon someone who wants to become a mathematician or an architect ? Clearly they have different aim to achieve in life. Also , the claim tries to establish that having a selfish and achieving it is wrong. But , it goes without saying that achieving any significant goal - selfish or not is very difficult. If a individual manages to achieve his goals he fully deserves the various benefits or the joys he gets from them.
However , it is certainly true that at some point in time we should try to give something back to the society. This would certainly be applicable only if the individual is in a influential position. Consider the case of various personalities like Bill Gates , Warren Buffet who engaged in huge amount of charity after they achieved their dreams. Thus , total selfishness is not appreciable as ultimately we are a part of the society and we still have a responsibility to contribute towards its betterment in some form.
Thus , while I disagree with the statement of making individuals picking worthy goals , I agree that complete selfishness and materialism is also not desirable. The statement which I would agree more upon is , 'Young people should be advised to follow their dream but also made aware about their responsibility to the society'.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 194, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...uld look out for each other in some form , that is no reason to stifle ones dream....
^^
Line 3, column 25, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... ones dream. While it seems illogical , there is nothing wrong with having self...
^^
Line 3, column 238, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...tes the terms of what his goal should be , there is a good chance he will achieve ...
^^
Line 3, column 585, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...lfilling his dreams. Consider a case of a individual who wants to become a entrep...
^
Line 3, column 618, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ase of a individual who wants to become a entrepreneur only to fulfill his materi...
^
Line 3, column 708, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...and his passion. If he becomes succesful , he will undoubtedly create many other j...
^^
Line 5, column 10, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... will support other people. Similarly , the claim talks about worthy goals , bu...
^^
Line 5, column 47, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rly , the claim talks about worthy goals , but who can decide these for an individ...
^^
Line 5, column 262, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...cate the poor students. On ethical terms , this is certainly a worthy goal. But sh...
^^
Line 5, column 488, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e different aim to achieve in life. Also , the claim tries to establish that havin...
^^
Line 5, column 572, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...a selfish and achieving it is wrong. But , it goes without saying that achieving a...
^^
Line 5, column 673, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... - selfish or not is very difficult. If a individual manages to achieve his goals...
^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r the joys he gets from them. However , it is certainly true that at some point...
^^
Line 7, column 176, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...applicable only if the individual is in a influential position. Consider the case...
^
Line 7, column 258, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...of various personalities like Bill Gates , Warren Buffet who engaged in huge amoun...
^^
Line 7, column 351, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...y after they achieved their dreams. Thus , total selfishness is not appreciable as...
^^
Line 9, column 5, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rds its betterment in some form. Thus , while I disagree with the statement of ...
^^
Line 9, column 86, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... making individuals picking worthy goals , I agree that complete selfishness and m...
^^
Line 9, column 208, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...atement which I would agree more upon is , Young people should be advised to follo...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, similarly, so, still, thus, while, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 33.0505617978 145% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 58.6224719101 82% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2190.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 459.0 442.535393258 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77124183007 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67595260972 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492374727669 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 692.1 704.065955056 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.740449438202 135% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.3116826356 60.3974514979 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 91.25 118.986275619 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.125 23.4991977007 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.125 5.21951772744 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 7.80617977528 243% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.163515333372 0.243740707755 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0490869321063 0.0831039109588 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0380133981198 0.0758088955206 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100973096413 0.150359130593 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0396680760651 0.0667264976115 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.1392134831 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.43 8.38706741573 89% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 100.480337079 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.