Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
I agree that since many people's dreams are inherently selfish, more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals rather than preaching the advice of following one's dreams to youngsters.
In this ever-growing and mordernizing world of today where it has become extremely essential to survive the rat race, people are tending to become more and more complacent. The tendency to become self-centered leads to formulation of dreams which are more selfish. If goals are based on these dreams then they would do nothing more than promote invidualistic ideas and work towards development of oneself rather than a holistic growth of society or community. If a person dreams to be rich and surrounded by all the worldly luxuries, no matter what he strives to become, this goal of hoarding money would make him do things which would not be justified by his profession. Let us say, there's a person who dreamt of gaining ultimate power and ruling an entire mass of people. He followed his dreams and later went on to become a politician. This person didn't have goals for developing the country, instead had dreams of being in power. Can we all think now, what would be the ramifications of such a dream based goal? This person would not at all care about the situation of its state and people, instead would be thinking how he could keep others defeating and himself firm in the position of power.
According to me its preferable not to make dreams a basis for achieving goals, instead, its better to pick worthy goals. Although, its not true every time. If Mark Zuckerburg wouldn't have dreamt and followed the trails of his dreams he wouldn't have been at such an influential position as he is now. He's not the only example, there are many other people like him who cherished their dreams and based their goals on them and finally resulted in making everyone proud of them because of their wonderful contribution.
Hence, though its better to pick goals which are worthy, its not wrong to follow one's dreams and base one's goals on them when those dreams are not inherently selfish.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 685, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...ustified by his profession. Let us say, theres a person who dreamt of gaining ultimate...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 852, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... on to become a politician. This person didnt have goals for developing the country, ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: ACCORDING_TO_ME[1]
Message: This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using 'in my opinion' or 'I think'.
Suggestion: In my opinion; I think
...self firm in the position of power. According to me its preferable not to make dreams a bas...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 122, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...stead, its better to pick worthy goals. Although, its not true every time. If Mark Zucke...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 176, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...not true every time. If Mark Zuckerburg wouldnt have dreamt and followed the trails of ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 237, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...nd followed the trails of his dreams he wouldnt have been at such an influential positi...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 301, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: He's
...h an influential position as he is now. Hes not the only example, there are many ot...
^^^
Line 7, column 58, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... better to pick goals which are worthy, its not wrong to follow ones dreams and bas...
^^^
Line 7, column 82, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ich are worthy, its not wrong to follow ones dreams and base ones goals on them when...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, hence, if, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 58.6224719101 75% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1726.0 2235.4752809 77% => OK
No of words: 358.0 442.535393258 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82122905028 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52244999385 2.79657885939 90% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 215.323595506 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.550279329609 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 521.1 704.065955056 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.5059956721 60.3974514979 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.066666667 118.986275619 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8666666667 23.4991977007 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.2 5.21951772744 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201917054338 0.243740707755 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.074787743522 0.0831039109588 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0795711995718 0.0758088955206 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168817308284 0.150359130593 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.093971106312 0.0667264976115 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.8420337079 116% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.1639044944 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 100.480337079 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.