Recent incursions by deep-sea fishermen into the habitat of the Madagascan shrimp have led to a significant reduction in the species population. With the breeding season fast approaching, the number of shrimp should soon begin to increase. Nonetheless, the population should not return to the levels before the fishing boats arrived. Because this trend is expected to continue over the next several years, the Madagascan shrimp will quickly become an endangered species.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author's statement that population of shrimp would decrease because of deep-sea fishing shows his concern towards this species but his argument that these would quickly become endangered is flawed, subject to various questionable assumptions made.
In the first place, the author states that incursions by fishermen into the Madagascan shrimp habitat has led to significant reduction in the species population. Now, how do we quantify this statement? We are not told exact or approximate figures as to how much the initial population of shrimp was and how much less it has now become as a result of fishing. Also, arriving directly to the conclusion that the significant decrease in the population resulted from fishing is also questionable. Maybe the population was reducing because of some other factor. The shrimp species might have got struck by a malady and they were dying because of this or maybe it was a migrating season for them and they were shifting their habitat, hence gradually decreasing in number.
Another thing is that, we are not told anywhere that the fishermen had started to invade all existing habitats of this species of shrimps. It might be that the fishing was restricted to few places where the fishermen were aware of about the existence of shrimps. There might have been other places which were not known to these people and the shrimp population wouldn't be decreasing there. Hence, the argument that the species would quickly become endangered holds no good here.
Also, the author states that with the breeding season approaching, the number of shrimp would increase but the population would not be able to return to the levels before the fishing boats arrived. The statement lacks any evidence which would help us into believing that the levels wouldn't be able to increase much. Since we aren't given the rate of reproduction in this species nor are we given any precise numbers of the population, we can easily discredit this statement.
Finally we are told that the expected trend of fishing is supposed to continue which would result into the species of Madagascan shrimp to be endangered. But, the question is, on what basis did the author predict this trend. Did he base this prediction as a result of a study of general fishing patterns or did he simply state this. Moreover, even if this trend of fishing would continue, we are not given any information about how many years would it take for the species to become endangered.
Therefore, the argument is based on several unwarranted assumptions and fails to make a convincing case. Had it answered all the above questions or exemplied its statement, we could have considered the argument up to the mark.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Here goes a sample:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/recent-incursions-…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 454 350
No. of Characters: 2206 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.859 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.568 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.988 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.195 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors statement that population of shrimp wou...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 252, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... various questionable assumptions made. In the first place, the author states th...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 767, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., hence gradually decreasing in number. Another thing is that, we are not told a...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 184, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...ight be that the fishing was restricted to few places where the fishermen were awa...
^^
Line 5, column 362, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
... these people and the shrimp population wouldnt be decreasing there. Hence, the argumen...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 480, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y become endangered holds no good here. Also, the author states that with the br...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 283, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
... help us into believing that the levels wouldnt be able to increase much. Since we aren...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 326, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...ldnt be able to increase much. Since we arent given the rate of reproduction in this ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 475, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...we can easily discredit this statement. Finally we are told that the expected tr...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...n easily discredit this statement. Finally we are told that the expected trend of ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 496, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e for the species to become endangered. Therefore, the argument is based on seve...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, another thing, as to, as a result, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2261.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 451.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0133037694 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61903547275 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478935698448 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 701.1 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.1410215604 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.05 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.55 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200996263266 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.065141891702 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0914680144965 0.0701772020484 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100067122703 0.128457276422 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0614881564892 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.