The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp , an anthropologist.
"Twenty years ago, Dr .Field, a noted anthropologist , visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents . However , my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that include Tertia show that these children, spend much more time talking about biological parents than about other adults in the village . This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview - centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child rearing traditions there and in other island cultures ."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument .
looking at the article written by Dr, Karp an anthropologist , we could assert to the conclusion that the children in Tertia were raised by an entire village than by their own biological parents which upon findings couldn't be disproved if not for other contrary views. the recent interview showed that the children talk mostly about their parents but it doesn't give out to the fact that they were necessarily raised by their biological parents. Below i am going to give out some reasons why i am saying i say that and hence bring out some specific evidence which need to be evaluated and explain how the evidence could weaken the recent interview results.Lots of factors need to be look upon such as the history of families living on the island, the proximity or the relationship which the children have with their biological parents as well as other controversial situations.
Heading to the historical aspect or point of view , the biological parents of the children might not have raised their children or might not have being there to raise their children but hence are mostly discussed among the children due to the role they played in the society of for the communities. It might be that at the birth of the children , most of them had to go to war against invaders of their territory and hence in the cause of the war might have lost their lives for the sake of their children or new-born babies and when they grew up and listen to the stories they were being told about their biological parents they have some envy to have wished to see them that they talk about them all day due to the iconic face they left for the survival of their kids, hence this point seeks to strengthen the view made by Dr. Karp an anthropologist after he visited the island twenty years ago.
Furthermore looking at the aspect of proximity and relationship among the biological parents of the children , it could be found that most parents in the community after having their children had to leave their community to other richer and prosperous regions and hence when they work over there send home some money and food so that their kids might sustain a living . hence this could be a reason the children talk about their parents all day because though their biological parents weren't near or around to raise their biological children , this could be a reason the children talk much about them and hence proves that this factors need to be considered before concluding about the invalid Dr. Karp wasn't right when he said all of that.
Conclusively, from the aforementioned points,i suggest lot more parameters inline with the ones i have just proposed need to be taken into consideration before giving a conclusion or a judgement upon what DR. Karp came up with after his observations and hence doesn't also stands to fully favor Dr Karp but also stand to say that we don't limit to observations.
Comments
thanks for your prompt
thanks for your prompt response and will strive working to improve on the comments.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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looking at the article written by Dr, Karp an a...
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...proved if not for other contrary views. the recent interview showed that the childr...
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... talk mostly about their parents but it doesnt give out to the fact that they were nec...
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...ised by their biological parents. Below i am going to give out some reasons why i...
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... visited the island twenty years ago. Furthermore looking at the aspect of proximity and ...
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...osed need to be taken into consideration before giving a conclusion or a judgemen...
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...p with after his observations and hence doesnt also stands to fully favor Dr Karp but ...
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...r Dr Karp but also stand to say that we dont limit to observations.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, hence, if, look, so, then, well, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 33.0505617978 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 58.6224719101 138% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2376.0 2235.4752809 106% => OK
No of words: 503.0 442.535393258 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72365805169 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73578520332 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5182057946 2.79657885939 90% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 215.323595506 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.435387673956 0.4932671777 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 718.2 704.065955056 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 20.2370786517 44% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 55.0 23.0359550562 239% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 133.301662905 60.3974514979 221% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 264.0 118.986275619 222% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 55.8888888889 23.4991977007 238% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 8.44444444444 5.21951772744 162% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 25.0 7.80617977528 320% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 10.2758426966 39% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158671333657 0.243740707755 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0839551535527 0.0831039109588 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.085379519316 0.0758088955206 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105181409446 0.150359130593 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0374547783219 0.0667264976115 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 28.7 14.1392134831 203% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 32.57 48.8420337079 67% => OK
smog_index: 13.0 7.92365168539 164% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 22.4 12.1743820225 184% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.98 12.1639044944 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 100.480337079 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 11.8971910112 151% => OK
gunning_fog: 24.0 11.2143820225 214% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 29.0 11.7820224719 246% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.