The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe. “Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is ‘Jazz Nightly,’ which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable.”
The writer of the application has asserted that the jazz music club will be tremendously profitable. The writer substantiates above assertion by providing examples of 100,000 people attended Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer, the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is ‘Jazz Nightly,’ which airs every weeknight”. Moreover, the number of well-known jazz musicians own houses in Monroe. Also nearest Jazz music club is one hour away & a typical jazz fan spends about $1000 per year on jazz entertainment. However, the evidence provided by the arguer, fails to establish a link between profitability and evidence provided due to three reasons.
Firstly, the arguer has based his contention on number of people attended Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer. The arguer states, 100,000 people attended annual jazz festival last summer erroneously assuming that this year too will garner in the same amount of people as it did last summer. It is likely that this year only 50,000 people will attend the festival. Additionally, attendance might be lower than 50,000. Thus, the author fails to establish a link between people attended last year and will be attending this year. If above scenario has merit, then above conclusion doesn’t hold water.
Secondly, even if one assumes that there will be an influx of people attending this year’s festival and many jazz music fanatics travelling for experience of Jazz music clubs, it can cannot be believed that opening a new jazz music club will be “tremendously successful”. It is likely that the virtuosos (of jazz music) perform at jazz music club located one hour away whereas the new club will have some inferior jazz musicians perform for them. It is possible that the club one hour away pays their musician well and the new club can’t afford to do so. Therefore, the new music club might now be successful. If above scenario is true, the arguer’s conclusion is significantly flawed.
Thirdly, the arguer states that because the fans pay about 1000$ per year for jazz entertainment, new club will be successful. The arguer erroneously assumes that the fans will pay the some amount for the new club leading to profits. It is possible that fans might be reluctant to pay for a membership of new club because they are so used to the old one. Perhaps fans don’t have penchant for the jazz music performed at new club. It is likely that some amount of the $1000 spent each year is for ‘jazz nightly’ show subscription. Perhaps they are satiated with the highly rated show, they don’t have the need to visit a new jazz music club. If above scenario has merit, the conclusion is flawed.
In its present form, the given argument is largely unconvincing due to lack of quantifiable evidence provided in support of the conclusion made. Until and unless a quantifiable evidence in form of a study is presented, the conclusion is flawed.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 321, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '“' seems to be missing
...azz Nightly,’ which airs every weeknight”. Moreover, the number of well-known jaz...
^
Line 1, column 397, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...wn jazz musicians own houses in Monroe. Also nearest Jazz music club is one hour awa...
^^^^
Line 1, column 651, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...evidence provided due to three reasons. Firstly, the arguer has based his conten...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 105, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun jazz seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much jazz', 'a good deal of jazz'.
Suggestion: much jazz; a good deal of jazz
...ople attending this year’s festival and many jazz music fanatics travelling for experienc...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 60, Rule ID: CURRENCY[1]
Message: The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: '$1000'.
Suggestion: $1000
... states that because the fans pay about 1000$ per year for jazz entertainment, new cl...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 186, Rule ID: THE_SOME_DAY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'same'?
Suggestion: same
...usly assumes that the fans will pay the some amount for the new club leading to prof...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, well, whereas
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 14.8657303371 34% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 33.0505617978 88% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 58.6224719101 77% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2442.0 2235.4752809 109% => OK
No of words: 482.0 442.535393258 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06639004149 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74854838335 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 215.323595506 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441908713693 0.4932671777 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 720.9 704.065955056 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 15.0 4.99550561798 300% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.2370786517 124% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.5893677467 60.3974514979 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.68 118.986275619 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.28 23.4991977007 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76 5.21951772744 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.267338065179 0.243740707755 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0858024089967 0.0831039109588 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.094646505071 0.0758088955206 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157786415061 0.150359130593 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105699504533 0.0667264976115 158% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.38706741573 92% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 100.480337079 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.