The general welfare of a nation's people is a better indication of that nation's greatness than are the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disag

We need to define a nation's greatness before starting the discussion,. Let us roughly define it as the average wealth of people living in the country, though the meaning of greatness can vary up to context. In modern perspective, it is quite natural to weight individual's wealth equally regardless of their position, vocation, or gender.

With this definition of greatness, the achievements of very small number of people are often attenuated. This is because the success, however splendid it is, divided by the number of people living in the country. Only the overall level of lives thus matters especially as the country develops and its population increases. Consider Pyramides, the most magnificent relic of ancient time. Nobody dares to state that it is a great success of old Egypt, but it is built upon the sacrifices of laymen and subordinates. The justification becomes even harder regarding that, if it was not for this legacy, the Pharaoh might have been able to save the resources for the construction and use it for the improvements in education, trades, medicine, or other fields that affect general level of people’s life. The greatness of the country, according to the definition we made at the introduction, then would have been much greater.

The only problem for this definition, despite its precision, is that it is often hard to measure. Unlike the modern records for Gross Domestic Production (GDP), tracking down the overall welfare of countries that existed in the past is not an easy task, or even impossible. That is why people often approximate the greatness of a state with colossal sculptures, constructions, and artworks. They are easy to find and remember, and so naturally become the symbols for the greatness of the nation. The Great Wall is often cited as a representative example since it reminds us how the united China was strong at that time.

However, one should note that the united China was short-lived country which exploited poor people. The wall made more than 200 victims each day along with its construction schedule, and the number of people killed during the construction is more than those who were killed by Northern Barbarians, form whom the Great Wall meant to protect people. This irony describes the disadvantage of using achievements as a proxy for the greatness of a nation: they distort the reality. Another irony can be found in North Korea, one of the poorest country in 21th century. The country has more than thousands of giant sculptures that were meant to describe the appearance of its leader Jong-Eun Kim, Jung-il Kim, and Il-sung Kim over its territory. In Pyung-Yang, the capital of North Korea, there used to be one of the biggest sculpture of a alive human being. Assume that these big sculptures are successfully conserved and found two thousands years later. Will it be reasonable to say that North Korea was one of the greatest nation in this era?

The cost of using tangible works as a measure for the greatness of a nation-state is clear. We will falsely assume that the country enjoyed its wealth, and people who lived in the country were happy about the country though in fact they were not. To assess how a country was or is great therefore should be done through a well-designed inspection which to measure the aggregate, or average level of life of people living in that country, not partial vestiges left by handful of people.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 21, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'nations'' or 'nation's'?
Suggestion: nations'; nation's
We need to define a nations greatness before starting the discussio...
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Line 1, column 69, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , .
...greatness before starting the discussion,. Let us roughly define it as the average...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
..., then would have been much greater. The only problem for this definition, despi...
^^^
Line 7, column 832, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...d to be one of the biggest sculpture of a alive human being. Assume that these bi...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, regarding, so, then, therefore, thus, well, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.5258426966 164% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 58.6224719101 131% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2849.0 2235.4752809 127% => OK
No of words: 574.0 442.535393258 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96341463415 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89472135074 4.55969084622 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77263097942 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 288.0 215.323595506 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501742160279 0.4932671777 102% => OK
syllable_count: 880.2 704.065955056 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.77640449438 563% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.5432828289 60.3974514979 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.576923077 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0769230769 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.65384615385 5.21951772744 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.160192461791 0.243740707755 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0422006345153 0.0831039109588 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0314785901176 0.0758088955206 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0878539865463 0.150359130593 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0121860909775 0.0667264976115 18% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.1392134831 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.1639044944 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.74 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 146.0 100.480337079 145% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.