high school should eliminate their art and music to make room for more extensive studies in mathematics and English.
High school is the place where students learn various things let it be education wise or other curricular activities. Students ace whatever they want in their high school time. They develop, they learn and they germinate whatever interest they have on a high level. The issue stated above purports that high schools should eliminate their art and music programs to make room for more extensive studies in mathematics and English. This is the point I don’t agree upon because students require some change from their regular subjects. Arts are as important as students can develop an interest in that field and wants to pursue their career in that.
I agree that Mathematics and English are important and essential subjects that students require in future studies and in everyday life and it should be given special attention. But at the same time, some students are inclined towards arts and music. Students are free to choose whatever subjects they like just eliminating the programs to make room for extensive studies in mathematics and English is not a good approach that high schools should undertake. There are many students out there who are interested in taking arts and music as their majors and they have little interest in maths and English. If high schools eliminated arts and music program the students will lose their interest. It can be possible that high schools can presume some different approach towards this issue. They can have an extra period for music and arts and students who are interested in that programs can register and some time slots can be allocated for arts and music programs.
Students who are interested in arts and music can attain their programs in time slots provided and also high schools can also increase their time for maths and English as they want to and this will not disturb and will ensure students to focus on the paramount subjects. Undermining music and arts is not a good idea instead it should be adjusted in such a way that students who have an interest in that program can easily look up to it and also they can adjust the paramount subjects as well.There are various great artists who have stood out in arts and music as their mainstream. They have proved their abilities by focusing in that field as well. So students who have an interest in arts and music can definitely look a career in it after their high schools. Miley Cyrus, Arjit Singh and there are many great singers who students look up to make their career towards music. Painting of Mona Lisa painted by Leonardo Vinci is breathtaking and students like to pursue their career in it. Sports are also the field where students are looking like a career now.
In conclusion, it is not appropriate to say that to eliminate arts and music programs in order to focus on the paramount and more important subjects such as English and maths rather the plan should be made such that students who are interested in arts and music program can take additional course coming extra hours. In such case, every important subject can be managed commensurately.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 494, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...n adjust the paramount subjects as well.There are various great artists who have stoo...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1063, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...students are looking like a career now. In conclusion, it is not appropriate to ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, so, well, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.4196629213 169% => OK
Conjunction : 35.0 14.8657303371 235% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.3162921348 203% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 50.0 33.0505617978 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 58.6224719101 90% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 12.9106741573 15% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2555.0 2235.4752809 114% => OK
No of words: 525.0 442.535393258 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86666666667 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78673985869 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41788948655 2.79657885939 86% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 215.323595506 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.373333333333 0.4932671777 76% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 782.1 704.065955056 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.9500660219 60.3974514979 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.136363636 118.986275619 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8636363636 23.4991977007 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.40909090909 5.21951772744 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.392791768648 0.243740707755 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.150956153473 0.0831039109588 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.167675468082 0.0758088955206 221% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.286298253584 0.150359130593 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112596695348 0.0667264976115 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.1392134831 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.8420337079 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.18 8.38706741573 86% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 100.480337079 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.