If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The world is witnessing an unprecedented transformation process which is now shaping and defining the realities of our lives. The most important aspect of this new situation is the intertwinedness of people, and, which, as a result plays an important role in relationships among people. In this sense, the conclusion made in the prompt seems to be too opportunistic and contradicts the basic dynamics of human relations, and, therefore, I strongly disagree with it.
Firstly, people's only aim should not be setting a goal, and trying to reach it no matter what. Isn't this behavior the underlying reasons of big wars in human history? What we all talk about are the greed, passion, and lust of historic figures and administrators, and the huge problems they caused while omitting the actual needs of the societies they rule. For instance, Hitler was a product an apparently functioning democracy; he loved authority and never wanted to give up. What was true for him should be right for all the people, and eventually since his compassion fell short in restricting him, his true face came out as an evil in the long run. Not only himself but also another person could stop him, tried to persuade him to show there is another way to be successful. In the end, his greed destroyed him besides the whole world. As seen, if people do not hold a sense of self restriction, one can never know how far his greed can go; therefore, people should always self check and correct their behaviors and even ideas before it is late.
Secondly, if each person tries to attain his or her goals insatiably, without thinking social boundaries, the needs of other people, this will create a chaos in the society. A successful example for this situation is a firm where everyone competes to be the manager. Everyone's aims crush and if no-one is clever enough to make room to discuss and find a more fruitful way as a result of compromise, the system will collapse and no-one will reach what he or she wishes. Let's think about the consequences of the situation where everyone is undercutting his or her colleague's position in the company. Can this company survive for a long time? Instead, everyone should consider the necessities of his or her position and try to their best to do their jobs, and leave the decision of promoting to the relevant authorities. Surely, this way, not only everyone will be happy, but also the company will prosper.
However, it is a fact that this kind of very ambitious people exist everywhere. Should everyone behave like him or her to detract her from higher positions? The answer is absolutely no. If this person is lucky enough he or she will how to behave realistically and put herself on the other people's shoes eventually, and be a better human-being. In addition, such kind of greedy people can never become fully satisfied, and, hence they are usually unhappy and fail to become happy at the end of the road. As seen, for a happier self being and a society people should have a kind of self restraining inner system to create a better and prosperous society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 437, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mics of human relations, and, therefore, I strongly disagree with it. Firstly,...
^^
Line 3, column 96, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Isn't
... and trying to reach it no matter what. Isnt this behavior the underlying reasons of...
^^^^
Line 5, column 470, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...o-one will reach what he or she wishes. Lets think about the consequences of the sit...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, besides, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for instance, in addition, kind of, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 14.8657303371 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.3162921348 35% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 48.0 33.0505617978 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2551.0 2235.4752809 114% => OK
No of words: 534.0 442.535393258 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77715355805 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80712388197 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70554407077 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 286.0 215.323595506 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535580524345 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 788.4 704.065955056 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.226552902 60.3974514979 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.291666667 118.986275619 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.25 23.4991977007 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45833333333 5.21951772744 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0555094494882 0.243740707755 23% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0169097078114 0.0831039109588 20% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0147261357306 0.0758088955206 19% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0370473871425 0.150359130593 25% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0183906405566 0.0667264976115 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 12.1639044944 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.38706741573 97% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 100.480337079 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.