The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
New, brilliant technologies are already in daily lives and significantly changed many people’s lifestyles. For example, in the morning, a smartphone rings to wake up a user and brief the weather outside and the news like a private secretary. How luxurious and convenient! There are various views on how this luxurious and convenient life affected on strength and independence of individuals. However, in order to evaluate whether the luxurious and convenient life positively or negatively affected one’s strength and independence, the definitions of them have to be presented first.
Firstly, the range of independence is broad: it can be simply resolving a problematic situation without other human being’s help, or more strictly, it can be doing all oneself without any help even from smartphones or other devices. To be specific, when a tourist is finding a restaurant with an exact location, all she needs to do is put the address on Google map. Then, the application will suggest public transportations such as buses or subways. If she is so tired to transfer buses three times as suggested by Google map, she might open another application, Uber, to call a cap. Although she might not speak the language where she visited, there is no matter to use the application. In this luxurious and convenient life, reaching a goal wherever one’s current location is, or however one can speak a language in a certain country is not a big problem anymore. One might judge this situation as independently resolved the problem while one judges it highly relied on the technologies, so not independent.
Secondly, strongness also includes various meanings. Strong individuals can be either physically or mentally strong. Today’s many technologies are evaluated that they provide many useful applications to manage mental health such as non-face-to-face counselling services. In contrast, contemporary luxury and convenient life worsened physical health. Many people are so familiar to put fewer hours for physical movement in this automated world, and it is demonstrated through research such as increased obesity rates and its related health problems. Thus, the assertation that contemporary life resulted in stronger life can be partially right in terms of mental health and partially wrong in terms of physical health at the same time.
No one will deny luxuries and conveniences of contemporary lives have significantly changed how individuals live their lives. However, in order to evaluate the effect on independence and strongness, clear definitions have to be presented.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, thus, while, for example, in contrast, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.3162921348 35% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 33.0505617978 61% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 58.6224719101 77% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2186.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 404.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.41089108911 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.14148894614 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 215.323595506 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.569306930693 0.4932671777 115% => OK
syllable_count: 685.8 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.314413656 60.3974514979 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.052631579 118.986275619 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2631578947 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.73684210526 5.21951772744 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.130690356286 0.243740707755 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0444415136528 0.0831039109588 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0455896057968 0.0758088955206 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0852297988131 0.150359130593 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0251392948807 0.0667264976115 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.1392134831 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.1639044944 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 100.480337079 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, thus, while, for example, in contrast, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.3162921348 35% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 33.0505617978 61% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 58.6224719101 77% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2186.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 404.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.41089108911 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.14148894614 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 215.323595506 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.569306930693 0.4932671777 115% => OK
syllable_count: 685.8 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.314413656 60.3974514979 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.052631579 118.986275619 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2631578947 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.73684210526 5.21951772744 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.130690356286 0.243740707755 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0444415136528 0.0831039109588 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0455896057968 0.0758088955206 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0852297988131 0.150359130593 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0251392948807 0.0667264976115 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.1392134831 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.1639044944 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 100.480337079 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.