The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning f

Essay topics:

The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

This world consist of a lot of luxuries of which one would not be able to enjoy all eben till death. There is a collosus of luxuries everywhere of which people have began to notice the effect it has on we feeble humans. The question posited by many is also that does the luxuries and conveniences of this contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals? However, in my opinion I feel that though this luxuries and conveniences developing and build we humans into what we will be in the future , it does not prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

It is a common belief that children of the rich who are at the forefront of the exposure to the the conveniences and luxuries of life, are rude, spoilt, rash and many times profligates. This belief tend to make people assume assert that the luxuries of life prevents people from developing into strong and independent indivduals. However, this has also being proved wrong from history, as those who enjoy the conveniences and luxuries of this life ended up becoming strong and independent individuals, contributing to the development of the world and in fact changing the history of time. As an illustration, Alexander the great of the greeks who was born with a silver spoon, he has access to all the exposure to the world and even became the king at very young age. If it were that the luxuries of this life prevents fromo beinginidependent, Alexander the great would have ended up to become a craven king who lives at the mercy of his advisors. However,this was not the case as he ended up conquering more than one-fourth of the earth and changing the history of time. Thus very strong and independent.

Similarly, the likes of Ojukwu of the eastern Nigeria, who changed the history of Nigeria has proved the argument wrong. In fact, he was so strong and independent that he took the burden of the entire eastern Nigeria to himself which even led to the brutal Nigerian civil war. Being born to the richest trader in Nigeria then,and studying at Oxford, being exposed to much wealth and luxury as the only son, did not prevent him from being strong and independent. And today even after his death he is praised for his bravery, depicting strength and independence.
In conclusion, I agree that though luxuries of the world might affect an individual in one way or the other, it however does not prevent one from being strong and independent. As we have seen from history of great men and women even though they were exposed to such luxries.

Votes
Average: 6.2 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 166, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'begun'.
Suggestion: begun
...uxuries everywhere of which people have began to notice the effect it has on we feebl...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 444, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...wever, in my opinion I feel that though this luxuries and conveniences developing an...
^^^^
Line 1, column 540, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...umans into what we will be in the future , it does not prevent people from develop...
^^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...are at the forefront of the exposure to the the conveniences and luxuries of life, are ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...are at the forefront of the exposure to the the conveniences and luxuries of life, are ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 139, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e conveniences and luxuries of life, are rude, spoilt, rash and many times profli...
^^
Line 3, column 895, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the great would have ended up to become a craven king who lives at the mercy of ...
^^
Line 3, column 958, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , this
...es at the mercy of his advisors. However,this was not the case as he ended up conquer...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1075, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...earth and changing the history of time. Thus very strong and independent. Similar...
^^^^
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , and
...rn to the richest trader in Nigeria then,and studying at Oxford, being exposed to mu...
^^^^
Line 5, column 365, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...n,and studying at Oxford, being exposed to much wealth and luxury as the only son,...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, similarly, so, then, thus, i feel, in conclusion, in fact, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 14.8657303371 155% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 33.0505617978 118% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 58.6224719101 114% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2138.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 447.0 442.535393258 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78299776286 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59808378696 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71034355996 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 215.323595506 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4451901566 0.4932671777 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 672.3 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.1613721408 60.3974514979 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.764705882 118.986275619 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2941176471 23.4991977007 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.64705882353 5.21951772744 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 7.80617977528 141% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277821426944 0.243740707755 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0990993612394 0.0831039109588 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0990598193228 0.0758088955206 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.173622052898 0.150359130593 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100253143502 0.0667264976115 150% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.1392134831 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.8420337079 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 12.1639044944 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.38706741573 91% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 100.480337079 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.