The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The idea that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life cause people to become weak and dependent is an interesting idea to discuss. I mostly disagree with the statement. As it will become apparent in this essay, I will explain details about my position on this issue.
To begin with, time is the greatest luxury. All of the conveniences in my life allow me to have more time to devote to my work. Technology allows me to save time. For example, washing machines can save my time. Instead of washing by hand, I can simply put clothes in the machines. While the machine is working, I can perform other tasks, such as reading books or checking my students’ homework. Another example is a smartphone, such as an iPhone. It is luxurious and creates many beneficials such as remote working, checking emails, or listening to podcasts. Therefore, technology can save my time and allow me to become more productive. However, technology can also become inconvenient. To illustrate, I cannot leave home without my smartphone because of my job. I need my smartphone for arranging and confirming my teaching schedules. Hence, I am obliged to respond when the school contacts me, and, in this manner, the luxuries and conveniences of temporary life do diminish my independence. Nevertheless, the dependency on technology does not prove that it causes people to become weak individuals.
Secondly, the ideas of luxuries and conveniences are subjectives. For instance, an elevator for a two-story house may be considered as luxury, but it becomes necessary if people in the house got injured and could not walk. This means that people are not necessarily weak or dependent because they rely on the elevator when people get injured or could not walk. Moreover, traveling by private jet may be seen as an extravagantly luxurious and convenient lifestyle, but in certain situations it might seem necessary. For example, popular Korean idols may have stalkers, who follow them almost everywhere, may need a private jet while traveling for overseas concerts due to safety reasons. Therefore, it is equivocal to say that luxuries and conveniences can hinder people from developing into strong and independent individuals.
In conclusion, the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life may cause people to become dependent or independent regarding the given circumstances. The perception of what constitutes a luxury or a convenience is also subjective. On that account, it is hard to pinpoint whether the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing themselves into strong and independent individuals.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 45, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: All the
...egin with, time is the greatest luxury. All of the conveniences in my life allow me to hav...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2219.0 2235.4752809 99% => OK
No of words: 421.0 442.535393258 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27078384798 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12990594703 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 215.323595506 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491686460808 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 720.9 704.065955056 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.9905973083 60.3974514979 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.3461538462 118.986275619 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1923076923 23.4991977007 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.73076923077 5.21951772744 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189488926347 0.243740707755 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0603732439571 0.0831039109588 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0823757072809 0.0758088955206 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156659336132 0.150359130593 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0939762795313 0.0667264976115 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.99 12.1639044944 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 100.480337079 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 11.8971910112 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.