The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
The issue is addressed towards the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life. Luxuries can be defined when a person is able to fulfill its daily basic needs such as hunger, education, medicinal services, home and a job, after this luxury comes into play. It is the amount of money that is spent on the things without which a person can easily live their life. For an instance going to grandiloquent parties, movies, buying extravagant clothes to name a few. If a person who binds their personality into the loop hole of the luxury and convenience then their path to become a strong and independent individual might not be satiated. Therefore, I am in the favor of the issue.
Firstly, it becomes vital to notice that most of the billionaires consider to live their life as unremarkable as they can. Consider the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg wears the same grey t-shirt everyday. Similarly, Steve Jobs mostly used to wear black t-shirt and a pair of jeans. The decision taken by both of the successful individuals reflects that the aim is to not look rich but to be rich from within. They do not want to make people envy through their clothes but rather want to inspire them from the brilliancy of their brain.
Additionally, the former president of India Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was also a down to earth person. He was born in a poor village of Tamil Nadu, India and become the scientist and eventually the president of the country. Even though when he become successful he used to live his life in simplicity, always encouraged young minds to follow their dreams. Even I had gotten a chance to attend one of his lectures where no flamboyancy was reflected from his way of speaking but rather only politeness. Therefore, the people who have reached at the top of their career know that luxury will not provide anything instead living a simple and quotidian life can make them have a lot of followers and admirers.
In the end, I would like to end my note by stating that after achieving the basic goals of life a person would have to face two choices, first live a live full of luxury and convenience or choose the path of becoming strong and independent individuals. The choice will determine the destiny of the person and how the world is going to recognize the personality.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 67, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'consider living'.
Suggestion: consider living
...to notice that most of the billionaires consider to live their life as unremarkable as they can....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 214, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... Zuckerberg wears the same grey t-shirt everyday. Similarly, Steve Jobs mostly used to w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 189, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a live full of luxury and convenience or choose the path of becoming strong and i...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, look, similarly, so, then, therefore, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 12.9106741573 23% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1904.0 2235.4752809 85% => OK
No of words: 403.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72456575682 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65532801947 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 215.323595506 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558312655087 0.4932671777 113% => OK
syllable_count: 602.1 704.065955056 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.4898618361 60.3974514979 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.210526316 118.986275619 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2105263158 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.21951772744 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.220028602954 0.243740707755 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.056824056906 0.0831039109588 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0745536376768 0.0758088955206 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124471443809 0.150359130593 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0637078953701 0.0667264976115 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 12.1639044944 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 100.480337079 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.