Mass media and the internet have caused people’s attention spans to get shorter. However, the overall effect has been positive: while people are less able to focus on one thing, they more than make up for it with an enhanced ability to sort through lar

Essay topics:

Mass media and the internet have caused people’s attention spans to get shorter. However, the overall effect has been positive: while people are less able to focus on one thing, they more than make up for it with an enhanced ability to sort through large quantities of information and find what’s important.

Mass media and the internet having an overall positive effect is detestable. Firstly the passage doesn't mention various other factors so as to come to a conclusion that an overall effect is in place. Secondly the passage says that people developed enhanced ability in sorting through important things while this activity itself requires attention.

First the passage doesn't mention of the various other effects that mass media and internet has caused to the society. People have become introverts and don't tend to talk to other people for information or help as most of it is available online. Society in general is slowly losing its ability to communicate with each other. If the passage had provided more reasons as to how the overall effect has resulted to be positive the argument would have had a stronger stance.

Secondly the passage fails to show that sorting through large quantities of information and finding what's important itself requires attention. As the passage first mentions that attention is something that people have lost due to mass media and internet whereas the very activity on which the conclusion is drawn requires attention thereby making the conclusion from the passage disagreeable.

Therefore if the passage had contained information pertaining to the factors mentioned above, it would have had a stronger stance in concluding that mass media and internet have given a positive effect.

Votes
Average: 3.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 98, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...fect is detestable. Firstly the passage doesnt mention various other factors so as to ...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 135, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ge doesnt mention various other factors so as to come to a conclusion that an overall ef...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 19, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...uires attention. First the passage doesnt mention of the various other effects th...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 153, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...iety. People have become introverts and dont tend to talk to other people for inform...
^^^^
Line 5, column 358, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... other. If the passage had provided more reasons as to how the overall effect has...
^^
Line 9, column 101, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: what's
...e quantities of information and finding whats important itself requires attention. As...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ion from the passage disagreeable. Therefore if the passage had contained informatio...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, whereas, while, as to, in general

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 19.5258426966 36% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 33.0505617978 39% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 58.6224719101 41% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1205.0 2235.4752809 54% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 227.0 442.535393258 51% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.30837004405 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.88156143495 4.55969084622 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60640358978 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 114.0 215.323595506 53% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.502202643172 0.4932671777 102% => OK
syllable_count: 380.7 704.065955056 54% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 6.24550561798 16% => OK
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 20.2370786517 49% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.6653802965 60.3974514979 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.5 118.986275619 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.6 5.21951772744 165% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 7.80617977528 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279471181829 0.243740707755 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123550284947 0.0831039109588 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.062445347054 0.0758088955206 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182494100557 0.150359130593 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0637093146729 0.0667264976115 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.1392134831 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.8420337079 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.1743820225 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.1639044944 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 50.0 100.480337079 50% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.

Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.