People s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making

Essay topics:

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Forces that influence people's behaviors can be divided into two categories, external and internal one. The statement implies that the external forces play predominant roles on human's behaviors. However, in my opinion, both external and internal forces walk hand-in-hand in shaping our behaviors.

To begin with, we are told how to behave as well-educated persons since we are children. Our parents taught us to differentiate right from wrong in order to let us fit in the society. Teachers at school helped us to build fundamental knowledge and skills to prepare us for benefiting the society after growing up. Media and internet promulgate ideas and trend that the public appreciate and agree with. If our behavior deviates from what commonly acknowledged as normal or good, we are likely to be corrected or even scolded seriously. Moreover, laws and regulations are legislated to prevent harm from malfeasance, crimes or other wrongdoings. Generally speaking, people's behaviors are indeed regulated under these external forces.

However, besides external forces, we cannot ignore that internal forces are also of vital importance. For instances, although most of the food producers manufacture and sell their product in a legal way, we can still find tainted food from time to time. Merely through external forces such as laws, we cannot prevent dishonest people from trying to get around the rules. Another example is that when we go hiking, we see sometimes litter in the protected mountain area even if littering is prohibited. Whether people decide to throw garbage or not when there is no one around depends mainly on their internal thoughts and personal decision.

In addition, charity works and volunteering are admired by the public because they are done self-motivated without lucrative incentives. For example, Mother Teresa devoted her whole life saving and helping those in need without someone asking or forcing her to do so. Although she grew up in a quite wealth family far away from India, it is her internal sound that makes her forgo all her privileges and choose stand with the poor.

In the final analysis, statement argues that people's behaviors are mainly influenced by external forces may have overlook the importance of the internal forces. To merely emphasize either one is one-sided since both of them help to shape human behaviors.

Votes
Average: 6.2 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 189, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a legal way" with adverb for "legal"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...cers manufacture and sell their product in a legal way, we can still find tainted food from ti...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 293, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('quite') instead an adjective, or a noun ('wealth') instead of another adjective.
...g her to do so. Although she grew up in a quite wealth family far away from India, it is her i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 412, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to stand'
Suggestion: to stand
...her forgo all her privileges and choose stand with the poor. In the final analysis...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 114, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'overlooked'.
Suggestion: overlooked
... influenced by external forces may have overlook the importance of the internal forces. ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, however, if, look, may, moreover, so, still, well, for example, for instance, in addition, such as, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 33.0505617978 109% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1996.0 2235.4752809 89% => OK
No of words: 379.0 442.535393258 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26649076517 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71554851624 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 215.323595506 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.625329815303 0.4932671777 127% => OK
syllable_count: 631.8 704.065955056 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.3562620285 60.3974514979 40% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 99.8 118.986275619 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.95 23.4991977007 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.15 5.21951772744 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165714738757 0.243740707755 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0490754661628 0.0831039109588 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0540225423829 0.0758088955206 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0916881294161 0.150359130593 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0378784312496 0.0667264976115 57% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.1392134831 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.24 8.38706741573 110% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 100.480337079 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.