Schools should do more to prepare students for the non-academic aspects of adulthood.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the
recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and
supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that
could be used to challenge your position.
Adulthood is where human spent most of their lifetime. According to laws of most country, an adulthood stage is reached when an individual is 18 years old. But, most humans are not prepared for this stage of life because most of their early days were spent in schools. Schools were established to prepare students for the academic aspects of adulthood; even though this preparation is necessary, the adulthood stage of life revolves more around the non-academics than the academics. Hence, I believe that there is a need for school to prepare students for the non-academic aspects of adulthood so that such a student will become a success when they reach the adulthood stage. To affirm my position, i will highlight some reasons why schools need to lean towards the non-academic aspect of life.
To begin with, adulthood is a stage where every individual is independent, hence they are eligible to make their decision without influence. Statistically, it was reported that about 80% of students that transition into adulthood fails when it comes to financial decision. Most of them are not financially aware and financially literate. The financial literacy I’m insinuating is not that of financial courses but how to spend money wisely, how to invest, how to have multiple source of income, what to do to prevent being susceptible to fraud and others which culminate in how an individual is able to manage their finance.
Furthermore, often times, schools do not teach how to be responsible for each and every decision an individual makes in life, consequently, we see students that recently reach adulthood blaming their parents, leaders, community and government for the decisions they made when they ought to be responsible for their actions and inactions. Similarly, one of the critical tools needed to survive the adulthood stage is the ability to use soft skills successfully. An example of such soft skill is the negotiating skill. As an adult, ability to negotiate is an invaluable skill that will determine how far one will excel in life because invariably, all our encounters and decision revolves around communication and negotiating skills especially for someone who is an entrepreneur and a business oriented fellow. This is a skill that most schools rarely teach their students and it later hunt them when the need for such skills arises.
In lie of the above, although academic is critical and important to the survival of everyone during adulthood, the impact of non-academic aspect can not be over emphasized. The non-academic aspect is vast and covers a broad range that is inexhaustible but with the little points i highlighted above, I believe its enough a reason for schools to do more to prepare their students for the non-academic aspect of adulthood.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 700, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...adulthood stage. To affirm my position, i will highlight some reasons why schools...
^
Line 3, column 883, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'hunts'?
Suggestion: hunts
...arely teach their students and it later hunt them when the need for such skills aris...
^^^^
Line 4, column 279, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...nexhaustible but with the little points i highlighted above, I believe its enough...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, furthermore, hence, if, similarly, so, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 58.6224719101 97% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2327.0 2235.4752809 104% => OK
No of words: 455.0 442.535393258 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11428571429 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89969496499 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 215.323595506 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485714285714 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 704.065955056 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 83.7898177824 60.3974514979 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.882352941 118.986275619 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7647058824 23.4991977007 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.17647058824 5.21951772744 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.248053136665 0.243740707755 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0886886183094 0.0831039109588 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0912134285641 0.0758088955206 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16774828666 0.150359130593 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.089168561401 0.0667264976115 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.1392134831 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 100.480337079 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.