Some people believe that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Others believe that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
Schooling accounts for a significant amount of time in our life. From preschool to high school, or, to some, even to graduate school, the process of these so-called formal education normally takes us twelve years or more. With such a long period of time as well as the effort and the financial resource needs to be invested in, questions regarding the impact of it on each individual is inevitable. While some advocate that education is the key to our freedom of mind and spirit, other argue that it has the tendency to do the opposite. In my opinion, the latter more closely aligns with my own position for the following reasons.
To begin with, it would be a task of challenge to “free the mind” when the knowledge being taught at school is discreetly compromised by the governments, especially in history and politics. For instance, students in Vietnam always learn about the history of the country fearlessly fighting against invasion but little do they know that Vietnam, at some points in the past, was also once a truculent invader. In another case, Chinese students believe that their country follows socialism as it is what they are taught at school while in reality, it is obviously to us outsiders that they are driven by capitalism. Governments are likely to shape the information being taught to youngsters into ways that would probably best benefit them, thus an immeasurable amount of knowledge, though pristine and true, can easily be removed from the syllabus once it is decided not favorable to the authorities.
Furthermore, the exam system that is applied prevalently around the world is also one of the reasons to put into consideration. According to this system, students must pass a proper (at best) or excessive (at worst) amount of exam and evaluation in order to move to higher academic levels and this process continues throughout an individual’s schooling life. The exam system adversely encourages students, by all means, to pass the test and therefore creates a handful of problems with it. It is possible that instead of truly understand the basic concept and nature of a problem, students would simply study by heart what they have learnt and probably forget all about it after taking the test. In a worse scenario, a student might even cheat to achieve their desired score. As the consequences, students will continue to climb higher in the academic scale without solid foundation of knowledge and are less likely to be able to apply their knowledge into reality.
Last but not least, the current education system, especially in Asia, show its flaw when it only judges an individual through his or her academic performance. Anyone who cannot meet the score requirement is considered not intelligent and a disappointment to the family and the nation. However, as a scientist has recently proved, there are more than one kind of intelligence. Some students might be gifted in athletics, other might be excel at drawing or music. Sadly, their talents would not be recognized and appreciated when the whole education system is score-oriented and exam result is the only indicator for a student’s potential.
To conclude, whether formal education exerts positive or negative impacts on our mind and spirits is never an easy question to answer. It might be reasonable for some people to claim that formal education is beneficial because it works as a pedal to diverse academic opportunities. However, for all of the reasons listed above, I believe that our current education system is still seriously flawed and it is doing more harm than good to its students. Therefore, a lot more effort and improvement should be invested in the schooling system before it can offer the freedom of mind and spirit to the learners.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 240, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... twelve years or more. With such a long period of time as well as the effort and the financial...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 898, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cided not favorable to the authorities. Furthermore, the exam system that is app...
^^^^
Line 4, column 355, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'kinds'?
Suggestion: kinds
...ecently proved, there are more than one kind of intelligence. Some students might be...
^^^^
Line 5, column 295, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...se academic opportunities. However, for all of the reasons listed above, I believe that ou...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, regarding, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, for instance, kind of, as well as, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.5258426966 169% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 14.8657303371 168% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 33.0505617978 148% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 93.0 58.6224719101 159% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3128.0 2235.4752809 140% => OK
No of words: 626.0 442.535393258 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99680511182 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.00199880112 4.55969084622 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78969176445 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 324.0 215.323595506 150% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517571884984 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 985.5 704.065955056 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.38483146067 274% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.8812747209 60.3974514979 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.333333333 118.986275619 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0833333333 23.4991977007 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.21951772744 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172429077557 0.243740707755 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0508297475456 0.0831039109588 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0601795996662 0.0758088955206 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107960080242 0.150359130593 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0888552004435 0.0667264976115 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.1392134831 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.91 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 158.0 100.480337079 157% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.