"Sports stars & movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them. In return for the millions of dollars that they are paid, we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility." -
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing & supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Each and every person on the planet have certain goals and aspirations which are usually based on the role model they choose in their life. Most of the younger generations in today's contemporary world are inspired by the profession of sports or movies because those realms provide better reputation as well as wealth to one's life compared to other streams. Thus, in order to inspire many more newer people to follow those occupations, I agree with the notion that the people who are already in those fields must take the responsibility to behave as the role models.
To begin with, the role of a sports star or a movie star does not end up by just performing their job. As they have intense reputation in the society, they have the capability to bring out revolutions in the society. To illustrate, consider the movie star Salman Khan, who acts in Bollywood movies, came up with his own social organization "Being Human" which promotes in eradicating the poverty in the country. Many people who are fans of Salman have been contributing to such a good cause and in most parts of India, poverty was decreased to great extent. Hence, many people, especially the younger generation, are getting inspired by such actions and are contributing a lot to the society.
There are many sports stars too who come up with their own ideas for the betterment of the society. For instance, Cricket is one of the popular sport played in Australia. One of the sportsperson of Australia, Brett Lee, has innumerable records in the game. When retired in the year 2014, Lee came up with a new idea that he would open an academy to teach the children who are eager to learn the sport, for free of cost. Many children in and around the cities of Sydney and Melbourne are getting tips and tricks about the game and due to this initiation many are applauding Lee. Moreover, some social welfare organizations are coming up to buttress his idea by providing the financial support. Hence, it is the responsibility of a reputed person to embrace the community and come up with strategies which help the community.
In contrast, there might be certain instances when such eminent people need not involve in societal needs. It is because, one has to agree with the fact that all the prominent people have their own personal life and their personal freedom must be respected. According to a survey recently conducted in Belgium, around 79% of the eminent personalities feel that their personal freedom is being assailed. One cannot urge those people to come up with a kind of idea which is useful to the society. Some sports persons might not like to come and help the society and such notion must be respected.
In conclusion, in most of the cases one must agree that it the responsibility of the stars to behave as a role model to the younger generation. However, in certain cases when stars do not feel to serve the community, one must not force them to be as a role model to the youth.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 102, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...pirations which are usually based on the role model they choose in their life. Mo...
^^
Line 1, column 206, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rations in todays contemporary world are inspired by the profession of sports or ...
^^
Line 1, column 323, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
... better reputation as well as wealth to ones life compared to other streams. Thus, i...
^^^^
Line 1, column 391, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'newer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: newer
...streams. Thus, in order to inspire many more newer people to follow those occupations, I a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 435, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...the poverty in the country. Many people who are fans of Salman have been contributing t...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 134, Rule ID: AGREE_WITH_THE_FACT[1]
Message: Use simply 'agree that'.
Suggestion: agree that
...cietal needs. It is because, one has to agree with the fact that all the prominent people have their own...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, moreover, so, thus, well, as for, as to, for instance, in conclusion, in contrast, kind of, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 88.0 58.6224719101 150% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2460.0 2235.4752809 110% => OK
No of words: 520.0 442.535393258 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73076923077 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77530192783 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63015062453 2.79657885939 94% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 215.323595506 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465384615385 0.4932671777 94% => OK
syllable_count: 788.4 704.065955056 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.740449438202 270% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.5576738779 60.3974514979 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.818181818 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6363636364 23.4991977007 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45454545455 5.21951772744 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.226209577797 0.243740707755 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0671817790602 0.0831039109588 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0545245732529 0.0758088955206 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127397576497 0.150359130593 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0500120725648 0.0667264976115 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.1392134831 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.8420337079 116% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 12.1639044944 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 100.480337079 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.