"Sports stars & movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them. In return for the millions of dollars that they are paid, we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility." -Write a response i

The issue at hand highlights the societal responsibility that movie stars and sports stars must fulfill, as they are role models for the young people who look up to them, and for the millions of dollars that they are paid.This is a contentious statement, but I vehemently agree to it. The reasons for my belief are elucidated in the ensuing paragraphs.

When it comes to cricket, Sachin Tendulkar is the epitome of a successful cricketer.In India, he is revered as the GOD of cricket, his acolytes worship him , follow him ardently and aspire to be just like him - if not as a cricketer, then at least as the unassuming persona that Sachin Tendulkar is. That he is role model for millions of young people all over the world, Sachin must realise his actions might be incumbent for what his fans do, as they blindly follow him. Any brand that he endorses, Sachin must be cautious, and circumspect and understand the product thoroughly, lest it may happen that masses buy it, and the product does more harm than good. People place their belief in their idols, and trust them unflinchingly because they believe, whatever their role model does, he will be right.Hence it is of paramount importance , not only Sachin , but also other revered sports icon, realise the impact of their choices, and demeanour, and their verbatim, that they carry themselves with utmost dignity atleast in public places .

Another such equally quintessential epitome of Bollywood is Amitabh Bachchan- he is admired not only by the aspiring young actors, also his contemporaries from his film fraternity. He is a man of repute, not only because of the plethora of roles that he is has played on the silver screen, but because after being bankrupt, he bounced back , and took his place back among the echelons of the film industry. When a man of such a formidable persona, promotes a particular campaign- be it Incredible India, or Swachh Bharat, even people who were initially hesitant, take up the broom and start cleaning the streets. Such is the impact that his ad campaign has. He is hallowed and put on the pedestal by the public, that is why even now, brands are after him to endorse their products, but Big B - the appellation given to him by the media, knows his responsibility, and is very particular about endorsements. He knows he is a role model for the public, and hence it is incumbent upon him to promote the right cause or the product.

This doesn't mean that the public can stop thinking and just go ahead follow whatever their role models say, or buy whatever their idols endorse.We must also do our own research before blindly buying the products, just because an Amitabh BAchchan endorses it, or Sachin Tendulkar says he use it. What is good for them, might not be good for us. Hence, we have to make that intelligent choice.

Ofcourse, Sports Stars and movie stars must fulfill their social responsibility because of the position they are in, but it is our responsibility too to decide what is the best for us.

Thus according to the aforementioned paradigms, I completely agree with the given topic that Sports stars and Movie Stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them; hence, the celebrities are expected to fulfill this societal responsibility.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 223, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
... millions of dollars that they are paid.This is a contentious statement, but I vehem...
^^^^
Line 3, column 85, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...s the epitome of a successful cricketer.In India, he is revered as the GOD of cric...
^^
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...GOD of cricket, his acolytes worship him , follow him ardently and aspire to be ju...
^^
Line 3, column 804, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...their role model does, he will be right.Hence it is of paramount importance , not onl...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 804, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...their role model does, he will be right.Hence it is of paramount importance , not onl...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 839, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ight.Hence it is of paramount importance , not only Sachin , but also other revere...
^^
Line 3, column 857, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...f paramount importance , not only Sachin , but also other revered sports icon, rea...
^^
Line 3, column 1039, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... utmost dignity atleast in public places . Another such equally quintessential ...
^^
Line 5, column 340, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...se after being bankrupt, he bounced back , and took his place back among the echel...
^^
Line 7, column 6, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...the right cause or the product. This doesnt mean that the public can stop thinking ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 145, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: We
...ay, or buy whatever their idols endorse.We must also do our own research before bl...
^^
Line 7, column 288, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
...ndorses it, or Sachin Tendulkar says he use it. What is good for them, might not be...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, look, may, so, then, thus, at least

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.5258426966 169% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 14.8657303371 175% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 82.0 33.0505617978 248% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 58.6224719101 89% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2731.0 2235.4752809 122% => OK
No of words: 566.0 442.535393258 128% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82508833922 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87757670434 4.55969084622 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70949813435 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 215.323595506 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480565371025 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 837.9 704.065955056 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 6.24550561798 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 17.0 1.77640449438 957% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 23.0359550562 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 97.9280860356 60.3974514979 162% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.647058824 118.986275619 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.2941176471 23.4991977007 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35294117647 5.21951772744 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 7.80617977528 154% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.320042443206 0.243740707755 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11520441565 0.0831039109588 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.152185594458 0.0758088955206 201% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.244145747835 0.150359130593 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.175732512681 0.0667264976115 263% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.0 14.1392134831 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.44 48.8420337079 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.1743820225 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.33 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 100.480337079 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 11.8971910112 155% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.2143820225 136% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.