"Sports stars & movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them. In return for the millions of dollars that they are paid, we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility." -
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing & supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Several sports stars and movie stars are highly revered by their fans, some of them viewing them as role models. Once they opt to choose either acting or sports as their careers, they no longer are just an ordinary individual, but are highly exposed to the public for every little deed they do, in a way becoming a celebrity. But it is not their duty to behave as role models for the younger generation who look up to them, in return for the millions of dollars they are paid.
The sports stars and the movie stars are paid because they work hard in their respective fields, quite similar to the tuition fees paid to the teacher or the consulting charges paid to the doctor. The teacher is not obliged to help the students make wise decisions for their career or the doctor is not obliged to placate the patient, when he/she comes to know that he/she is suffering through a life threatening disease, say cancer. On the contrary, both the doctor and the teacher go beyond what their job responsibilities and care for the people associated with them who they love and care about. Similarly, the sports and movie stars, though unlike the teacher and the doctor may not be in direct association with the people they affect, are not obliged to care for the fans but they do go beyond what is asked from their professional careers to make a positive impression on the fans who lionize them.
Especially in the case of sports stars, they no longer represent themselves at Olympics, or any other international level. They represent an entire country. Every single person of the country is abused when a sportsmen from their country is criticized for any wrong deed done by him/her. Take the case of Rio Olympics, 2016, preliminarily all the Russian players were prohibited from participating for the Olympics, mainly because a lot of participants for Russia failed the doping test. As a result, the whole nation was forced to face the consequences. Therefore, the sports players and even the movie stars need to make ethical decisions and act in sensible manner because their actions are going to be scrutinized and speculated by people around the globe. Moreover, there one wrong decision can cast a negative impression on the young minds who are stilling learning the differences between right and wrong, and are trying to adjust to the society.
One may put in a subtle manner that it their obligation for all the love they receive from their fans to make this world a better place to live in, by settling good examples. People always admire those who tread the right path, rather than one who use wrong and shorter path to reach their goal. Movie stars, for particular have a huge role in representing to the youth, through their movies values that will be ingrained with them for life. Sports stars and movie stars are not obliged to be better people, actually no one can force one to be good, unless one truly wants to be so. Many celebrities are associated with many environmental related issues- save the planet, go green, use less water and health related issues- AIDS, Cancer. Celebrities do so because they know that they have a great influence on the youth and help them, in a way giving back what they get, all the love their fans shower on them which means more to them then the money they make.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 12, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'star'.
Suggestion: star
...f dollars they are paid. The sports stars and the movie stars are paid because th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 208, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a sportsman' or simply 'sportsmen'?
Suggestion: a sportsman; sportsmen
...le person of the country is abused when a sportsmen from their country is criticized for an...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 13, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a subtle manner" with adverb for "subtle"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... to adjust to the society. One may put in a subtle manner that it their obligation for all the lo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'but', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'moreover', 'similarly', 'so', 'still', 'then', 'therefore', 'as for', 'as a result', 'on the contrary']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.218009478673 0.240241500013 91% => OK
Verbs: 0.178515007899 0.157235817809 114% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0695102685624 0.0880659088768 79% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0458135860979 0.0497285424764 92% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0647709320695 0.0444667217837 146% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.107424960506 0.12292977631 87% => OK
Participles: 0.0552922590837 0.0406280797675 136% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.43426924731 2.79330140395 87% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0394944707741 0.030933414821 128% => OK
Particles: 0.00315955766193 0.0016655270985 190% => OK
Determiners: 0.109004739336 0.0997080785238 109% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00789889415482 0.0249443105267 32% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0205371248025 0.0148568991511 138% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3308.0 2732.02544248 121% => OK
No of words: 581.0 452.878318584 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.69363166954 6.0361032391 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90957651803 4.58838876751 107% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.31669535284 0.366273622748 86% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.196213425129 0.280924506359 70% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.111876075731 0.200843997647 56% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0808950086059 0.132149295362 61% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43426924731 2.79330140395 87% => OK
Unique words: 277.0 219.290929204 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.476764199656 0.48968727796 97% => OK
Word variations: 57.8131183875 55.4138127331 104% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6194690265 97% => OK
Sentence length: 29.05 23.380412469 124% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.8435251301 59.4972553346 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 165.4 141.124799967 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.05 23.380412469 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.7 0.674092028746 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.94800884956 81% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.21349557522 58% => OK
Readability: 48.6713425129 51.4728631049 95% => OK
Elegance: 1.31693989071 1.64882698954 80% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.478603175478 0.391690518653 122% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.13723982751 0.123202303941 111% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0980119084752 0.077325440228 127% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.536660178591 0.547984918172 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.165819174634 0.149214159877 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.200487696001 0.161403998019 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102742736778 0.0892212321368 115% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.473590826187 0.385218514788 123% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0776715146369 0.0692045440612 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.372227704092 0.275328986314 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.070050232027 0.0653680567796 107% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.4325221239 96% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.30420353982 151% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88274336283 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 6.0 7.22455752212 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 3.66592920354 109% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.70907079646 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 10.0 13.5995575221 74% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.