Young people should be encouraged to pursue long term realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition

Essay topics:

Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.

Some people say that pursuing long-term goals is more desirable than pursuing short-term ones as they help us to set a solid outline. However, I have a different opinion. I believe putting more value on short-term goals, instead of long-term goals, is better for the following reasons.
Firstly, thinking about the near future is easier than thinking about the far future. In general, long-term goals are for five or even farther years later while short-term goals are targeted in a month or even shorter time. As no one can vividly imagine one’s future, long-term goals are more likely to be abstract. It makes us difficult to plan sub-steps as there are too many possibilities. In addition, when we figure out our sub-plans were undesirable, we need to change not only the ones but also consecutive ones. On the other hand, as short-term goals are for the near future, they are relatively more specific; thus, it is easier to set sub-plans in detail. Moreover, following short-term goals allows us to be more agile. When we realize that the goals were problematic, we just need to change them with fewer considerations to later plans. For this reason, I believe young people need to be encouraged to follow relatively immediate goals instead of long-term goals.
Secondly, achievement energizes us to step further. For short-term goals, it takes far less time for achieving the goals, compared to long-term goals. When reaching out to the goals, we will feel happy with what we have done, and it will be strong motivation for the next steps toward greater goals. By contrast, when we pursue long-term goals, it may be difficult to evaluate how we are close to the goals. When the vagueness continues, we may burn out energies with no stimulation to prolong. Thus, I insist that pursuing short-term goals is more beneficial.
I agree that there are some advantages to following long-term goals. However, I believe the benefits of following short-term goals are much greater, including the aspects I abovementioned.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 421, Rule ID: CONFUSION_OF_OUR_OUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'our'?
Suggestion: our
...sibilities. In addition, when we figure out our sub-plans were undesirable, we need...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, while, in addition, in general, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 14.8657303371 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 33.0505617978 103% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 58.6224719101 65% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1688.0 2235.4752809 76% => OK
No of words: 335.0 442.535393258 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03880597015 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27820116611 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7874587866 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 215.323595506 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498507462687 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 518.4 704.065955056 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 6.24550561798 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.10617977528 225% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.7488188757 60.3974514979 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 84.4 118.986275619 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.75 23.4991977007 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.6 5.21951772744 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249828964213 0.243740707755 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0908811251064 0.0831039109588 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.087056473659 0.0758088955206 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.17138474132 0.150359130593 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0541152241343 0.0667264976115 81% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.8420337079 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.1743820225 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.1639044944 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 100.480337079 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.