"Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition."
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
The statement which is based on an old notion, provides career security and a comfortable life without involving huge risks. Young minds today are exposed to diverse career opportunities right from their childhood which leaves them in an ambiguous state when it's time to choose. Institutions and parents should encourage them into choosing the most suitable option for that person, and not the more capital fetching path or a long term option. They need to see and drive the young minds into their area of interest and the career they are well versed or talented in. It's the job of the institutions to shape the young minds and refine their already existing talents. Instead, today children are forced to follow long-term, realistic goals rather than opting their area of interest or talent.
It is absolutely true that choosing a long-term, realistic goal is the safest option in the book than pursuing a mercurial career. There's a phrase which goes by " Greater the risk, Greater the reward ". It is known that such risks has led to the invention of new technology which shaped the world that we now live in. Many scientists like Einstein choose a career which no one would recommend, but his tenacious and reluctant hard work changed world of science forever. Many such inventions have been made by people who did not receive basic level of education, but we should also see that the intellect of these people varied vastly than what we humans share. Not everyone has high levels of IQ and it is advisable to opt the path that provides a stable pay and low levels of risk.
Young minds are exposed to a variety of opportunities nowadays. This enables them to explore and pursue a career well suited for them. Exposing them to such diverse career options is really important and it's the job of the parents and institutions to give them such opportunities. Realistic or not, its the elders job to place various options in front of the young ones to give them the discretion to do what they want. Forcing them into pursuing a career which they are not interested in, many affect them both physically and mentally as well. The mind starts to loose interest on things and in a few years the mind becomes dull and sullen and soon stops learning new things. This not only effects the person, but also the career he choose as the efficiency of work decreased due to lack of interest.
Hence choosing a long-term, realistic career or an immediate fame and recognition path completely depends on a individual interest. Helping them in achieving their goal not only improves their quality of life, but also their surroundings which in turn helps the world in a better way.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 568, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
...er they are well versed or talented in. Its the job of the institutions to shape th...
^^^
Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: There's
... book than pursuing a mercurial career. Theres a phrase which goes by ' Greater t...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 205, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... career options is really important and its the job of the parents and institutions...
^^^
Line 5, column 301, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... such opportunities. Realistic or not, its the elders job to place various options...
^^^
Line 5, column 492, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun affect seems to be countable; consider using: 'many affects'.
Suggestion: many affects
...areer which they are not interested in, many affect them both physically and mentally as we...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 566, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[3]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...nd mentally as well. The mind starts to loose interest on things and in a few years t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 736, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'chooses'.
Suggestion: chooses
...ects the person, but also the career he choose as the efficiency of work decreased due...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... decreased due to lack of interest. Hence choosing a long-term, realistic career ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 110, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... recognition path completely depends on a individual interest. Helping them in ac...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, really, so, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 14.8657303371 175% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 33.0505617978 127% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 58.6224719101 87% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2223.0 2235.4752809 99% => OK
No of words: 463.0 442.535393258 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80129589633 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4930712544 2.79657885939 89% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51403887689 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 672.3 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.4390488361 60.3974514979 49% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 105.857142857 118.986275619 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0476190476 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.80952380952 5.21951772744 35% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154325168313 0.243740707755 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0500473758183 0.0831039109588 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0419507837764 0.0758088955206 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103645707551 0.150359130593 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0349890750599 0.0667264976115 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 12.1639044944 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.38706741573 97% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 100.480337079 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.