Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for t

Essay topics:

Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

The prompted stated that young people should focus on pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than goal that lead to fame and recognition. In my opion, I agree with the statement greatly and argue that the life's goal and aim should last be last to the person's lifetime for two reasons.

To begin, immediate fame from a short-term action is usually short-lived and are not sustanble for true happiness. To achieve such fame in short term, one usually followed the trending popular theme such as young asian copying the like famous K-pop band in early 2010s. K-pop, just like any other trend, is shorted live, booming from 2010 and 2016. One who catches fame and recongnition of Kpop enjoyed their spotlight only for the few years. However, if one persued goal that is long-lasting and realistic, one would accquire enough talents to reach fame and recongition. Such fame backed with talents is usually sustainable. Michael Jackson, for example, started his career since seven year ago, performing in every oppotunity he had. After seven years of hard work, his effort finally paid off and he finally debuted as the solo artist and performed across the global. In end, he was hailed as the king of pop.

Secondly, one should focuses on their own desire long-term goal, rather than followed the goal that lead to fame as our happiness play the crucial role in our performances. Researches shows that our happiness play a cruical role in our performances and by being able to persued our desire dream will result to our desire to become better, but however, if one's target is obtain recognition, one might be forced in following the available oppotunity for sucess is available. For instances, if one has an objective to life to be a singer but chooses Chemical engineering because of the higher average starting salary Chemical engineering provides, one might be working in the chemical lab and making that higher starting salary, but be dreaming about standing on the stage performing the song he/she loved. He/she could have made critical mistake while day-dreaming and ended his/her career. In either case, his or her performances is minimized. Therefore, deciding based on short-term fame and recongnition could lead to decreased of performances.

As our life is in the scale of decades of years, our goal should also be long-lasting. Although choosing the field or career that ensures fame and recognition is benefiical, it is never long-lasting. Our focuses should be on our desire and long-lasting goals.

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Average: 6.2 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 254, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...goal and aim should last be last to the persons lifetime for two reasons. To begin...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 340, Rule ID: BUT_NEVERTHELESS[1]
Message: Use simply 'but'.
Suggestion: but
... result to our desire to become better, but however, if ones target is obtain recognition, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, in short, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 33.0505617978 109% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2112.0 2235.4752809 94% => OK
No of words: 416.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07692307692 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69468366142 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 215.323595506 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.560096153846 0.4932671777 114% => OK
syllable_count: 645.3 704.065955056 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.5832453118 60.3974514979 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.6 118.986275619 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85 5.21951772744 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.206431361166 0.243740707755 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0684810629034 0.0831039109588 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0774311058825 0.0758088955206 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15856066189 0.150359130593 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0920054523134 0.0667264976115 138% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.1392134831 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 100.480337079 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.