The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries, for the period 1960-2000. Summarize the information by choosing and reporting the key features and make any relevant comparisons.

Essay topics:

The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries, for the period 1960-2000. Summarize the information by choosing and reporting the key features and make any relevant comparisons.

These are two curves that represent people in USA, Japan, and Holland who smoke every day and person in Turkey, Holland and USA who consume alcohol per litres personally. Both of the graphs are shown in decades and the graph show the proportions, while the range of year is from 1960 until 2000. In general, State had the greatest amount of smoker population, whereas Dutch placed the first rank of alcohol consumers.

In the smoker curve, in 1960, proportion of smokers at USA, Japan, and Holland are 60%, 50%, and 40% respectively. During 1960 until 1970, American smokers leveled off, while Japanese and Dutch smokers decline steadily. Further, in 1980, smokers of USA decrease dramatically then continue to decline steadily, whereas both Japan and Holland decline steadily towards the end of 2000.

At the alcohol consumers curve, alcohol consumers in Turkey fluctuated at the range of 0 until 2 litres per person during 1960 until 2000 and reach its peak in 1980. Alcohol users in Holland increase dramatically from 1960 until 1980, then decrease steadily until 1990, and leveled off towards end of 2000. Meanwhile, alcohol users in America increased steadily and reach the top at 1980, and decrease steadily from 1980 onwards.

Attractively, trend of alcohol consumers and smokers in USA and Holland is generally decline from 1980 until 2000.

To sum up, USA reaches its top in percentage of population who smoke everyday in 1970and all of three countries steadily decrease toward 2000, then the curve’s peak of personal alcohol consumption placed by Holland in 1980, and the three countries generally fluctuating during 1960 until 1980.

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Comments

Sentence: Both of the graphs are shown in decades and the graph show the proportions, while the range of year is from 1960 until 2000.
Description: The fragment graph show the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace show with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Words: 268 200

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 268 200
No. of Characters: 1332 1000
No. of Different Words: 116 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.046 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.97 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.461 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.402 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.464 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.716 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4