The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where elevant.
The two maps of the centre of the towns of Islip give information about the city currently and in the future. Overall, a lot of modifications can be observed during the forecast development.
First of all, according to the current map the centre is close to a countryside. A main road deserves houses, a school, Several shops and a park.
Looking more closely at the map predicting the future development of the city a lot of modifications can be observed. The size of the centre will increase in an oval shape; therefore the countryside will disappear. Moreover, the single rood will be replaced by a bigger dual carriageway. A pedestrian way will deserve the central area. New houses will be built with new facilities such as a bus station and a parking. The shops will be grouped in a shopping mall. The next point is the garden area which will be smaller. As the city will have more people the school will be bigger.
To sum up, between the actual map of Islip town centre and the future planned development, a lot of modifications are predicted. On the one hand the city will be bigger with more facilities. On the other hand the park will be reduced and the countryside will disappear. The city will have changed a great deal.
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.0 score. Here is the examiner's comment:
The candidate covers all the key features and presents a clear overview of the developments planned. Information and ideas are logically organised and there is a clear progression throughout the response. A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly [currently | Overall | First of all | therefore | Moreover | The next point | To sum up]. Lexical choice shows flexibility and precision, and includes less common items [modifications | predicting | grouped in a shopping mall], though there is some inappropriate word choice [deserves]. A range of grammatical structures is used flexibly and accurately and error-free sentences are frequent.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 522, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... the garden area which will be smaller. As the city will have more people the scho...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, look, moreover, so, therefore, such as, first of all, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 7.0 286% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 1.00243902439 1496% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 6.8 176% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 3.15609756098 63% => OK
Pronoun: 1.0 5.60731707317 18% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 33.7804878049 104% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 3.97073170732 176% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1659.0 965.302439024 172% => OK
No of words: 332.0 196.424390244 169% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99698795181 4.92477711251 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.2685907696 3.73543355544 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96775490972 2.65546596893 112% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 106.607317073 163% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.524096385542 0.547539520022 96% => OK
syllable_count: 520.2 283.868780488 183% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.45097560976 110% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 14.0 4.33902439024 323% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 3.36585365854 149% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 8.94146341463 246% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 15.0 22.4926829268 67% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.3529529761 43.030603864 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.4090909091 112.824112599 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.0909090909 22.9334400587 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.22727272727 5.23603664747 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 3.83414634146 156% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 1.69756097561 59% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 3.70975609756 243% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.09268292683 318% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0972318507806 0.215688989381 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0313831123624 0.103423049105 30% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0524598856426 0.0843802449381 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0616535083404 0.15604864568 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0434157713339 0.0819641961636 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 13.2329268293 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 61.2550243902 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.3012195122 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 11.4140731707 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.38 8.06136585366 104% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 40.7170731707 206% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.4329268293 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.9970731707 73% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.0658536585 90% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.