The pie chart below shows the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how there causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The figures illustrate the factors that lead to the deterioration of farmlands around the world and in three particular areas in the 1990s.
Overall, over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivation are three main reasons of land degradation in the world, while in the three places, the most land degradation happened in Europe.
To be more specific, over-grazing is the primary reason of land degradation as it causes about one-third land degraded around the world. Deforestation and over-cultivation are other two main reasons, which account for a nearly equal portion at 30% and 28% respectively. Other reason only represents a negligible part at 7% in this aspect.
As for the three regions, about one-quarter of farmland in Europe has degraded. Among it, an almost identical rate was caused by deforestation (9.8%) and over-cultivation (7.7%). However, in Oceania, the most portion of land degradation was resulted from over-grazing, constituting 11.3%, more than doubled than that in Europe. North America had the least land deteriorated during the surveyed period.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
1. better introduction:
The pie chart indicates the factors that negatively affect the productivity of agricultural lands worldwide while the table data illustrates the percentage of land degradation in three main regions due to those factors mentioned.
'The figures...' are not clear.
2. the last paragraph is not in details. better one:
These causes affected different regions differently in the 1990s, with Europe having as much as 9.8% of degradation due to deforestation, while the impact of this on Oceania and North America was minimal, with only 1.7% and 0.2% of land affected respectively. Europe, with the highest overall percentage of land degraded (23%), also suffered from over-cultivation (7.7%) and over-grazing (5.5%). In contrast, Oceania had 13% of degraded farmland and this was mainly due to over-grazing (11.3%). North America had a lower proportion of degraded land at only 5%, and the main causes of this were over-cultivation (3.3%) and, to a lesser extent, over-grazing (1.5%).
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 164 200
No. of Characters: 874 1000
No. of Different Words: 99 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.579 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.329 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.313 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 61 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.452 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.418 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.651 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so, third, while, as for
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 7.0 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 6.8 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.15609756098 95% => OK
Pronoun: 5.0 5.60731707317 89% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 33.7804878049 92% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 3.97073170732 327% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 909.0 965.302439024 94% => OK
No of words: 164.0 196.424390244 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.54268292683 4.92477711251 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.57858190836 3.73543355544 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.35954583026 2.65546596893 127% => OK
Unique words: 101.0 106.607317073 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.615853658537 0.547539520022 112% => OK
syllable_count: 274.5 283.868780488 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.45097560976 117% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.33902439024 92% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 3.36585365854 149% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 8.94146341463 101% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.4926829268 80% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.355066303 43.030603864 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.0 112.824112599 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2222222222 22.9334400587 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.11111111111 5.23603664747 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 1.69756097561 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 3.70975609756 27% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 1.13902439024 351% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.09268292683 98% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151758163341 0.215688989381 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.062935840313 0.103423049105 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0435949833311 0.0843802449381 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102900908688 0.15604864568 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0354177130696 0.0819641961636 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 13.2329268293 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 61.2550243902 73% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.51609756098 172% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.3012195122 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.85 11.4140731707 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.06136585366 111% => OK
difficult_words: 46.0 40.7170731707 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.4329268293 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.9970731707 84% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.0658536585 108% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.