The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The figures illustrate the number of people visiting to Ashdown Museum in two specific years and the associated satisfaction of these tourists.
Overall, the visitors’ number increased significantly throughout the surveyed period. After the museum was refurbished, more people were satisfied with their visit compared with that in the former year.
To be more specific, compared with the statistic in the year before refurbishment, the sum number of tourists rose by about 30% in the next year when the museum was renovated, from 74,000 to 92,000.
As for the satisfaction of visit experience, in the year before refurbishment, people who were pleased with their visit experience were slightly less than those who were dissatisfied, with the proportion of 45% and 50% respectively. However, after the museum was refurbished, about three-fourths people were happy with the visit, increasing by 20% in the very satisfied group and 10% in the satisfied group. The rate of dissatisfied people dramatically shrank to one-fifth in total, while 5% of the visitors still did not give their opinion.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
1. there are duplicated content like: before/after refurbished..., it means the content is not so well organized.
2. the introduction is too simple with 'The figures..' to represent everything, need to be clear for 'tables.... and charts....'.
read a sample to see the difference:
https://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-ielts-academic-essays/tabl…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 172 200
No. of Characters: 890 1000
No. of Different Words: 92 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.621 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.174 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.93 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 62 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.516 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.478 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.751 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so, still, while, as for
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 7.0 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 6.8 44% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.15609756098 127% => OK
Pronoun: 6.0 5.60731707317 107% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 33.7804878049 104% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 3.97073170732 176% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 929.0 965.302439024 96% => OK
No of words: 172.0 196.424390244 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.4011627907 4.92477711251 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.62144681703 3.73543355544 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09478770271 2.65546596893 117% => OK
Unique words: 96.0 106.607317073 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.558139534884 0.547539520022 102% => OK
syllable_count: 274.5 283.868780488 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.45097560976 110% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.33902439024 92% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.07073170732 374% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 3.36585365854 208% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 8.94146341463 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.4926829268 107% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.5331231756 43.030603864 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.714285714 112.824112599 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5714285714 22.9334400587 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.28571428571 5.23603664747 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 1.69756097561 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 3.70975609756 162% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.09268292683 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.355833433858 0.215688989381 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.168795165573 0.103423049105 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0724573348869 0.0843802449381 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.227688386011 0.15604864568 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0739362567332 0.0819641961636 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 13.2329268293 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 61.2550243902 77% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.51609756098 172% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.3012195122 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.34 11.4140731707 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.87 8.06136585366 110% => OK
difficult_words: 44.0 40.7170731707 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.4329268293 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.9970731707 105% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.0658536585 108% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.