The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of males and females in Australia participating physical exercise frequently in 2010. The statistics are grouped by age feature.
Overall, the percentage of Australians doing physical activity regularly in both gender fluctuated with age. However, a considerable amount of men between 15 and 24 years old exercised their body in 2010, while the largest portion of females doing physical activity was in 45 to 54 year old group.
To be more specific, with the age between 15 and 24 years old, slightly more than a half of male population in Australia regularly participated physical exercise in 2010. This proportion experienced a downward trend in the first three age groups, reaching its lowest point at 39.5% in the 35 to 44 age group. Following this, it increased gradually and ended up at 46.7% when men were older than 65.
As for females, its figure started at 47.7% in the 15 to 24 age group, about 5% lower than that of males. This percentage rose moderately to its peak at 53.3% when women were between 45 and 54 years old, before mildly dropping back to 46.7% in the age group of over 65, which was nearly equal to its counterpart of male group.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
The structure of the essay is not exactly correct. You separated male and female to different paragraphs. well, better to compare and contrast them together. like this one:
https://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-ielts-academic-essays/bar-…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 207 200
No. of Characters: 961 1000
No. of Different Words: 115 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.793 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.643 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.688 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 58 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 50 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.888 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.421 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.674 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, while, as for
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 7.0 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 6.8 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.15609756098 127% => OK
Pronoun: 10.0 5.60731707317 178% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 33.7804878049 118% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 3.97073170732 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 995.0 965.302439024 103% => OK
No of words: 207.0 196.424390244 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80676328502 4.92477711251 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.79308509922 3.73543355544 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70164520033 2.65546596893 102% => OK
Unique words: 121.0 106.607317073 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.584541062802 0.547539520022 107% => OK
syllable_count: 295.2 283.868780488 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 1.53170731707 261% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.33902439024 92% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.07073170732 280% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 3.36585365854 119% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 8.94146341463 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.4926829268 102% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.2488482255 43.030603864 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.555555556 112.824112599 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 22.9334400587 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.66666666667 5.23603664747 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 1.69756097561 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 3.70975609756 27% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.13902439024 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.09268292683 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200807491591 0.215688989381 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0964762910986 0.103423049105 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0483051274838 0.0843802449381 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138652772197 0.15604864568 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.039580143972 0.0819641961636 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.2329268293 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 61.2550243902 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.3012195122 96% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 11.4140731707 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.06136585366 102% => OK
difficult_words: 45.0 40.7170731707 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.4329268293 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.9970731707 102% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.